


Bruised

by sweettcreatture



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: A lot of references to the perks of being a wallflower, Aged-Up Character(s), Bisexual Richie Tozier, Child Abuse, Depression, Eddie is still cute ol Eddie, Forced Drugs, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Medical Drugs, PENNYWISE IS GONE LORDY, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Parental Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Suicide Mission, Richie is kind of an outcast, Sexual Themes, Slow Burn, Slurs, Smoking, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, The Losers Club, based in 1993 and will transfer to 1994, dark themes, no smut though, they have all forgot about their pennywise experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 06:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12524776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweettcreatture/pseuds/sweettcreatture
Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.





	1. { A Late Friday Afternoon }

Richie Tozier brought the cigarette between his lips, letting the toxic smoke fill his decaying lungs and pulse throughout his insides and swirls around in each crevice of his body. He then takes away the cancer stick, after a moment blowing out the toxic waste into the thin November air.

Beverly Marsh raised an eyebrow at him, sitting across from the much taller boy on the brick wall with her own cigarette between her fingers. She watched as the smoke faded into nothing, sighing lightly as she proceeded to watch her best friend smoke away.

“You seem to be going heavy on the cigarettes today,” She paused, “I mean, isn’t that your fifth one in the past half hour?”

Richie shrugged, “I like smoking.”

Beverly eyed his cigarette with her green embers, frowning. “If you carry smoking on like that daily, you’ll die.”

“Well I obviously don’t smoke this much to look badass- as much as I am, Bev.” Richie grumbled, pushing his glasses up on his face.

“You’re worrying me a lot lately, how are your parents-”

“I don’t wanna talk about them, alright? I’m fine and I’m always fine. Look, I’m just moody as fuck today and I need a few more cig’s. I’ll lighten up soon, just getting used to my man period.”

Beverly laughed a little at that, running her free hand through her short ginger curls before taking a puff of her cigarette, flicking away the excess ash onto the bricks under her.

“A man period, huh? Must sucks, I wouldn’t know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, it fuckin’ sucks. I piss blood and shit like that, have to shove a few tampons up-”

“Beep beep, Richie.” Beverly grins.

That simple sentence took Richie back a few years for a moment, as he remembered his old friends that he had grown apart from due to his bad habits. He sighed, thinking of Ben, Stan, Mike, Ben and... Eddie. He quickly shook away the thoughts and nodded at Bev.

“Bottoms up, princess.” Richie lifted his cigarette up with his pinky finger high and clanked it against Beverly’s, before taking a quick puff again.

Beverly smirked at Richie, before stumping her cigarette out. “That’s me done for today.”

Richie frowned and watched as the ash disintegrated. “You coulda’ gave that to me, wasting a perfectly good cig.”

“I think you’ve had one too many for today, Tozier.” Beverly winked, trying to lighten the mood with a subtle hint of sarcasm to coat her seriousness and concern.

“Gosh, Bev. Shut up- you’re not my Mom.” Richie snapped, trying not to seem too harsh but his words had a bite to them.

Beverly furrowed her eyebrows before huffing, not saying anything more for a few minutes before finally piping up again. “I’m just being your friend and caring, since no one else seems to- someone has to.”

Richie flinched at her bluntness, but knew that she was telling the truth. Richie’s habits had slowly made him unravel away from others and not become a priority on others lists. 

Even his own parents didn’t give a shit about him.

Hell, his parents were the ones who funded the cigarettes for him. Every day he’d ask either his Mom or Dad for cigarette money and without any hesitation, they’d hand over 10 dollars.

“Well shit, where would I be without you?” Richie chuckled dryly, running his fingers through his dark brown locks that reached his jawline.

Beverly smiled, “You’d be lonely and homeless, probably.”

Richie then finished his own cigarette down to the stub, crushing the leftovers under his all black converse shoes. He flipped his hair back that fell in front of his eyes and looked to Bev. 

“Do you mind walking home by yourself today? I’m gonna stay behind after school.”

Beverly snorted loudly, “You? School?” She gasped, “I’ve never heard two words in one sentence before!”

“Extra credit, some stupid shit.” Pausing before speaking up again, “I’m failing in every class and I need to try, you know?”

Richie was a good liar, a great one in fact. He’s been lying for years. “Are you okay, Richie?”/“How are you doing, Richie?” Whenever anyone asked, which would only be Beverly nowadays, he was good at covering up what was reckoning with himself. The seventeen year old boy had learnt over the years that he wouldn’t be missed if he had left the planet, possibly by one person- that being Bev. But even Bev would get over him quickly, she’d probably be able to get over her smoking addiction too. After all, it was partly his fault for bringing it back up to the surface. Bev had Bill, not to mention Ben still fawning over her.

Richie didn’t even talk to them anymore.

The only person he had was Beverly and she didn’t even need him, whereas he needed her more than anything. She was all he had and she knew that.

“Well, shit alright then. I can hang out with Bill instead.” Beverly nodded, pushing herself off the wall. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess?”

Richie nodded, “Walk home safely.” 

Beverly smiled at him, “You have a nice night Rich.” With that, the ginger girl walked off down the street and away from the school building to which they both once sat outside of.

Richie watched her walk off, making sure she was safe whilst in his sight. A smile remained on his lips until she had vanished out of his sight, soon replaced by his natural void of emotion expression.

Richie jumps off the wall, landing on his feet and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he walks in the opposite direction and down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You fucking faggot!”

Punch, kick, punch.

“You ought’a be knocked straight.”

Eddie croaked out a strangled sob, attempting to protect himself from his usual bullies as much as he could. With his hands in front of his face and his knees tucked into his chest, cradling himself.

“Go pop some more fucking pills, maybe then you’ll overdose and the world will have one less faggot breathing.”

With that, Eddie’s box of tablets were quickly scattered against the concrete with the force of a shoe kicking the box open. Eddie’s eyes widened and he looked as the rainbows of the variety of pills for his health were disbanded elsewhere.

“Hey-”

Before Eddie could try and plead for the bullies to stop, a stomp to his head knocked him out clean.

“Eddie? Oh fuck, not again.” A voice muttered out, groaning almost.

Eddie could barely see, his eyes seemed to be glued shut. However, he could feel the immense pain that pulsed on his skin, possibly new bruises forming.

“Eddie, I don’t wanna do the water thing again, wake up dude.”

Eddie’s eyes cracked open in little slits, seeing a buff form kneeling next to him.

“Mike?”

Mike smiled sadly, chuckling. “You got yourself into another one of these situations again?”

Eddie sat up with the help from his friend, cracking his neck and sighing. “By coming out as gay, then yeah. I suppose so.”

Mike frowned at Eddie’s words, patting his back to somehow comfort the fragile boy, “The best thing you could’ve done was come out Eddie. You’re so brave and despite knowing how awful the kids are at school, you still did it.”

“But if I wasn’t gay in the first place then maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation. Again.” Eddie spat, biting his words at himself.

Ever since Eddie came out to friends and family about his sexuality, he already regretted it the next day. His mother had taken him to several councillors about ‘mental health problems’, his friends distanced themselves from certain activities with him and bullying was never so brutal.

Mike grabbed Eddie’s shoulder, “I don’t wanna hear you say shit like that, Eddie. You’re perfect the way you are, your sexuality doesn’t define you.”

Eddie glanced at Mike and sighed sadly but nodded anyway, “Thank you.”

Mike gave a comforting smile and ruffled up Eddie’s hair before collecting the boys pills for him, grabbing the small blue container and placing them all in the right places as Eddie sat and watched.

Mike eventually handed the full container back to Eddie and Eddie quietly put the blue box in his fanny pack.

“You know, if they are gazebos, then why do you still take them?” Mike asked in genuine curiosity.

“Its just a routine, something I feel the need to do...” Eddie trailed off before shrugging, “I don’t know.”

Mike sighed, holding his hand out for Eddie to take which he gladly took. Mike pulled him up to his feet for support, patting off any dirt that remained on the boys attire.

“Thanks Mike, I uh- I should get going now.”

Mike nodded, smiling. “Say hi to the other guys for me, I barely see them anymore with work. It was great seeing you again, and hey- don’t you ever feel ashamed of yourself Kaspbrak.” Mike paused, before waving his hand. “Adios.”

Eddie waved timidly, watching Mike rushing off with a sack hanging over his bag, possibly from him doing a job.

“Bye.” Eddie whispered, his hand grabbing his fanny pack for emotional support.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, Richie sat in class with several others around him, familiar people from his past included.

Richie was no longer the cocky trashmouth that wouldn’t be afraid to be the class clown, no. He was a different person due to all of the changes in his life. He’d act like himself around Bev and only Bev, No one ever saw the old Richie anymore, he was dead and gone.

Richie slowly became irritated at the sounds around the classroom, for example. Some random kid thought it was fucking amazing and decided to piss the teacher off badly, now he was lecturing the whole class about something he couldn’t give two shits about. Another kid was tapping his pencil against his desk in an uneven rhythm and another kid was throwing spit balls around the class.

He needed to get away from here, now.

Richie waited for the teacher to turn around and start scribbling his chalk against the board angrily, before he slid up- despite the strange looks he received, he simply walked out without a care in the world.

Yet, no one even cared that he left.

The teacher looked to his side, seeing Richie’s figure fade out into the hallway and he shook his head, scribbling more.

“Now kids, that’s a perfect example of a person you shouldn’t be.” He of course, was talking about Richie.

Richie ignored his comment; speeding down the hall whilst his feet echoed down the empty hall, making their way towards the steps in order to reach his destination.

He fidgeted with his keys in his pocket, letting a sigh racket from his lips, with his feet making their way up towards the roof of the school, which was nothing out of the norm for Richie. He and Bev would smoke here all the time, only today however was different.

He wanted to do more than smoke himself to death today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie whimpered, being flung into the dark navy lockers- his temple smacking against the cooling surface which caused him to collapse to the ground. He felt the blood trickling down his nose, to which he raised his sleeve and held it against the liquid to stop it from trickling further. A hiss left his lips as his nose stung and tingled his brain senses.

“Get the fuck up, faggot.” One of his bullies hissed. 

Eddie tried to do as he was told, trying to grab onto the locker to hoist himself up- but to no avail, Henry only kicked him back down.

Eddie let out a pained yelp, falling on his face to further make his nose bleed more. His head shook with pain due to his forming headache and the overwhelming situation.

“Have a dashing weekend, twink.” His new found bully friend, spat down at Eddie before another laughed, pushing him along to leave elsewhere.

Eddie glared at their passing figures, wiping away the blood that dripped onto the floor below. Eddie couldn’t help but glance around at the small attention the scene received. Everyone was watching, but none were helping. Even Bill, who watched in nothing but sympathy.

“Shows over.” Eddie whispered harshly, grasping the locker to help him to his feet.

“E-Eddie-”

“No Bill, fuck off.” Eddie hissed, tears brimming his water line with his fingers jittering as he brought his inhaler to his lips, taking a strong puff.

“Eddie, i’m-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, you’re not sorry and you’re not my friend. I stick up for you every time, every fucking time, this happens daily and not once you help.”

“E-Eddie, stop. I just...”

“You just what? You’re scared? Big Bill is scared?” Eddie started to cause a scene, his voice raising by every passing second.

Bill’s eyes were wide in shock at how Eddie was talking to him, but he remained silent.

“You’re not my fucking friend. Are you homophobic too, is that it?” Eddie knew he was over reacting, but he didn’t care. “Is that why you don’t help me, huh? You just watch?”

Bill’s eyes were wide in not only shock now, but hurt. “Y-You think I’m h..homophobic?”

“Well why else, Bill? Why else would you just leave me there?!” Eddie’s voice raised, his hand shaking with the light blue inhaler tight in his fist. 

Bill shook his head, “I..I’ll see you on Monday Eddie.” With that, Bill rushed off with his head low.

People stared at Eddie with a mixture of disgust and of pity, both of which he hated. He hated it when others pitied him or were disgusted of him. Eddie looked around, realising these looks and he quickly grabbed his bag from the floor and pushed through the small crowd, holding back his tears and rushing off down the corridor, people watched him go but didn’t offer a shoulder to cry on.

With each step Eddie took, he felt more bruises form on his arms and shoulders and anywhere else he was kicked or punch by his bullies. This wouldn’t happen much anymore hopefully.

Eddie rushed up the steps to the school, gripping the handle rail with his clammy hands. His head swung full of anxiety and anger, swirling and attacking at his emotions over and over again. He made it to the second floor of his school, before swinging himself up the next flight of stairs to ramble over. His destination was the roof.

He needed everything to stop.

His breaths only became heavier as he shoved open the door that was now in front of him after climbing the mountain of stairs. The door made a large creak throughout the silent air, causing a disturbance to perhaps anyone up here. However, no one was. It was empty.

That was perfect for Eddie.

Eddie closed the door, before walking out across the abandoned roof which was full of dead potted plants and green gardens that had failed. He walked around the entrance to the other side of the roof, looking at his feet whilst he did so.

Was he really about to do this?

Eddie sighed shakily, tilting his head up to look ahead of him- only for him to see another shadow standing around the next corner. Eddie tilted his head in confusion before turning around the small box that belonged to the fire escape entrance to cover it up from any rain or harsh weather. 

Eddie gasped, begging his eyes to deceive him. A tall lanky figure was stood at the edge of the rooftop with his toes hanging off. A mere cigarette between the index finger and the middle finger, whilst Eddie held his inhaler.

“Richie?!”

The figure almost fell forward whilst stood at the edge in complete shock, looking back with those large coke bottle glasses. Him almost falling caused Eddie to rush forward with a hand out for Richie to grab.

“Eds?”

Eddie felt his chest tighten at the nickname he had not heard in several years, Eddie felt water leak from his eyes at the nostalgia and memories of the two old friends flooded back as his emotions poured out. His head was tilted in confusion and shock to see Eddie, just as much as Eddie was to see Richie. The two were complete polar opposites now. Eddie raised his hand higher for Richie to take, saying no words as none would form due to his throat becoming dry as realisation dawned upon him.

Both Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier had came to the rooftop to kill themselves on this late Friday afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This story is a little late to come to this website as it's posted on tumblr & wattpad and I've been wanting to post here for a while !!! I hope you all enjoy??


	2. { The Rooftop }

Eddie and Richie blinked at each other, stunned to see one another in such a strange coincidence. Eddie still had his hand up, but Richie still hadn’t took it. Richie merely brought his hand up that held the cigarette, taking a drag and allowing the toxic waste to decay against his lungs. Eddie visibly cringed at the sight, but stayed silent; he only continued to watch in hope that Richie would somehow step down. Richie took away the small stick, blowing the smoke out slowly and staring at Eddie through his large obnoxious eye glasses.

“Why are you here, Eds?” Richie asked, as if a day hadn’t passed since they last talked.

Which was funny, considering they had barely shared a word in two and a half years. They were both 17 now, not two 14 year old boys with hormonal issues and experiencing puberty. No, they were grown but not quite men yet.

“Why are you hanging off the side of the school ledge? C’mon, get down-”

Richie flicked the cigarette over the edge, watching it fall over his shoulder and getting lost in the distance to the ground.

“Why should I?” Richie tilted his head, his curls dangling to one side more than the other. “Your life wouldn’t change if I jumped, in fact- you were coming up here to jump yourself. Weren’t you, Eds? So who are you to say to someone that they should get down?”

Eddie felt speechless, the hairs standing up on the back of his neck as he realised that what Richie was right, who was he to tell Richie to not end his life?

“I’m Eddie fucking Kaspbrak and I’m telling you to not jump, asshole. We might not be friends anymore but I really don’t want you to die. Please Richie, just step down.”

Richie whistled in taunting amusement, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow. 

“Are you begging me right now, Eds?”

Eddie felt anger surge in his core, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course i’m begging! A guy I know-”

“You don’t know me.” Richie cut Eddie off with a monotone voice.

“I used to know,” Eddie corrected before continuing, “is stood before me and could jump at any second. I don’t want that happen and neither does anyone else!”

Richie furrowed his eyebrows, “like who?”

“Like- fuck, Bev! She’s your friend, right? You can’t just leave her.” Eddie squeaked, taking a subtle step forward.

“She has Bill, she’ll probably replace me as her smoking bud.” Richie shrugged as if it meant nothing to him, but secretly him being replaced could possibly be one of the worst pains that Richie has ever experienced. “Just like you did and everyone else did out of the losers club, isn’t that right Eddie?”

Eddie flinched, knowing all too well that his comment hit home to both of them. “I didn’t mean to cut you off, Richie.” Eddie whispered softly, looking to Richie’s eyes. “I can’t speak for the other guys, but I had a lot going on-”

“And you don’t think I did?!” Richie exclaimed, balling a fist, “Even you knew what my life was like Eddie, you knew how shitty it was for me and it’s only gotten worse.”

Eddie already could tell that he was talking about his neglectful parents, Eddie was the first to know about his situation and comforted him for days on end with Richie in his arms. 

“Richie, look I’m an asshole okay? I get it, I left you when you needed me. But please, I can help you. Step down.” Eddie cried again, stepping forward and holding his hand up helplessly for Richie to grab.

Richie fell silent, staring at Eddie’s shaking hand before glancing at his features. He was still the same Eddie, still having a baby face traced on his doll like skin, still having those brown bambi eyes of wonder and his hear was still neat in the same style.

He really was just Eddie Kaspbrak, he hadn’t let the world break him down into shreds whereas Richie had.

“Please, Richie.” Eddie pleaded, reaching his hand higher.

Richie shook his head, feeling a sigh break out into the cold air. “Sorry, Eds.” He finalised on his last words before taking a step back.

Eddie’s eyes widened, a shrilled yell piercing through the afternoon breeze, quickly reaching out with his inhaler dropping to the ground. Eddie grabbed at Richie’s shirt, feeling all of his strength pull back Richie as quick as he could before he fell back which would result in his death.

Richie felt nothing beneath his feet, but a second later felt the whole world against them once again.

Eddie pulled him forward, feeling the weight of Richie fall on top of his smaller 5′4 frame. Both collided against the school roofs concrete, on top of one another with a little grunt leaving their lips.

After a moment of silence, Richie finally erupted.

“Eddie what the fuck?!” Richie had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill but he would never let someone else see him cry.

Especially not Edward Kaspbrak.

Eddie felt emotions that he had never felt so harshly before tug at his heart strings and pulse at his templates, he had his arms wrapped around Richie tightly in order for him to keep him away from the ledge.

Richie felt entangled with the boy below him, closing his eyes to fight the urge to cry in a mixture of anger and sadness. His heart sped up rapidly, feeling Eddie hold tighter against the clothes on his back with his legs wrapped around the back of his thighs.

“I-I’m not letting go until you promise.”

Richie winced, he didn’t want to promise anything because breaking them was the worst part.

“Promise me you won’t kill yourself!” Eddie croaked in his ear, gripping tighter and forcing his words upon Richie.

He didn’t want to promise, but he didn’t want to let down another person in his life. Richie remained silent for what seemed like hours, but those hours were only seconds in reality.

“I promise, Eds.” 

Eddie heard his promise loudly and clearly, but he still held tight- not to keep Richie from moving, but to help him know that even though those two and a half years were empty of each other for either one of them, Eddie was still there for him.

Half an hour had passed since the incident, with both boys sat side by side on the roof top against the small bricks of the fire escape. Silence remained the two, but the company of one another was all the comfort they both desired.

Richie couldn’t help but glance at Eddie every so often and ponder about the boys situation since they had last talked. He of course came up to the rooftop to kill himself also, this was common sense. Richie came up here to smoke with Bev almost every day and not one student would wonder upstairs for anything, so if Eddie Kaspbrak just so happened to come up to the roof top, it certainly wasn’t for a smoke.

His eyes were soft and staring at the clouds above, oh how those eyes said a story that Richie felt his heart ache for. Richie knew what happened around the school, how he was severely bullied for simply coming out to his friends and family. 

Richie wasn’t one of those people he came out too. 

Richie had to hear it from the gossip, just like most. Somehow the word got out about Eddie being gay, which lead to the bullying getting worse and worse as time ached on. Somehow Eddie remained confident on the outside, from what it seemed and pulled himself up each time he was thrown down. But after todays incident, it seemed as if it was all getting too much for Eddie.

Richie frowned, letting all of the thoughts roam his mind in realisation that this boy could possibly be just as bruised as he was.

Eddie glanced down at the pack of half empty cigarettes that were between both himself and Richie and his own inhaler. There was an actual contrast between the two objects just as there was between him and Richie as people.

Him and Richie were two completely different people and Eddie couldn’t ever see them being friends with their different habits. For example, Eddie loved everything to be clean of germs and to stay away from illness or diseases whilst Richie was practically smoking himself to death in order to get one.

Eddie laid his fingers upon the trim of the box of cigarettes and he began to carve his finger on the edge, feeling the ragged structure. Richie raised an eyebrow, saying nothing and just watching the small acts.

Eddie then took out a single cigarette, wincing at how it felt on his fingertips and how many illness’ the single stick held inside of it.

“Why do you smoke?” Eddie asked softly, lifting the cigarette up into the air.

Richie shrugged, re-enacting what he had said to Bev a few days ago, “I like smoking.”

“But why?” Eddie sighed, “Your lungs decay, you cripple and cough whilst cancer creeps up on your shoulder. It’s repulsive.”

“Like I said, I just like it. I don’t smoke to look ‘cool’ Eds.” Richie now stared at Eddie’s side profile.

Eddie stares at the rips in Richie’s jeans, frowning, “It’s a slow death.”

“Maybe thats what I want.”

Eddie sighed, putting the cigarette back in the box and grabbing some hand sanitiser from his pocket and squirting a dollop onto the palm of his hand where the same scar remained from the blood oath. Richie analysed it with soft eyes, his head tilting before lifting up his own hand and tracing the scar from the oath with his free hand. He remembered how he held Eddie’s hand in the cast, his blood on Eddie’s skin and connecting the two as one. The oath was to signal that one day they’d all come back together as one.

Maybe this was their early and personal reunion.

Eddie was too busy scrubbing in the hand sanitiser into his skin to notice Richie’s soft smile on his lips at the thought of him and Eddie talking again.

Everything was fuzzy about their childhood in the big group that they had, but if one thing was clear to Richie, it was the blood oath. Everything about that memory was so vivid to Richie and easy to remember, whilst the memories with himself and Eddie having sleepovers and crashing the arcade were hazed like a dream. At some point he even remembered a clown coming into play, but that was nothing more than a nightmare.

“I think your hands will be raw if you keep scratching the germ repellent into your skin.” Richie remarked, smirking a bit.

“At least I’ll be clean.” Eddie sighed, before finishing his work and patting his bare knees. 

Richie placed a sturdy hand on Eddie’s shoulder, causing him to flinch but settle quickly and looking at Richie in confusion. Richie simply pushed himself up, holding his hand out to Eddie instead- unlike the circumstance before where Eddie was holding his out to Richie. 

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

Eddie lifted his scarred palm out, with Richie’s own scarred palm grabbing his and pulling him to his feet.

~~~

Even after all these years, Richie still remembered where Edward Kaspbrak lived. He still lived in that small button house that had a cozy atmosphere to it. He even remembered the exact route he’d take when he used to ride to Eddie’s house every night for a sleepover. He remembered the damn smell of Eddie’s house, he remembered it all. 

The two walked close, every now and then their fingers would graze at the other persons skin but that was the only contact that they had.

Eddie watched as the sun started to set over the several houses that were next to them, being only 5PM and in a gloomy November setting- it was bound to be that the nights were starting earlier. The streetlights began to flicker on one by one and the cold air started to spike at Eddie’s bare legs.

“Why the fuck are you wearing shorts in November?” Richie chuckled, looking down at Eddie’s quivering legs.

Eddie huffed slightly, “Because I hate wearing jeans or anything else.”

Richie cooed, leaning forward and pinching the boys cheek. “That’s cute, Eds. But you might wanna wrap up for winter, it’s gonna get cold.”

Eddie felt his face heat up, adding to his already flushed cheeks from the cold air. “Its not cute and don’t call me Eds- I hate it, asshole.”

However, Richie knew that Eddie didn’t hate that at all as this was the first time he chose to deny it out of all the times in the past few hours. Richie confidently wrapped an arm around Eddie, pulling him closer to his side to keep him warm.

“I’ll keep ya’ warm, Eds.” 

Eddie blushed, looking up at Eddie before down at his feet. It was if the days without Richie had never passed- he was still the same with him despite how Eddie cut him off along with the other losers. Eddie felt a true attachment to Richie click inside of him again as he didn’t protest against his actions.

“You may as well if you’re gonna be having your arm over me.” Eddie whispered, leaning into the taller boy with a little bit of courage.

Richie grinned down at him, holding his shoulder as they walked the same route the way their bikes used to go. But it wasn’t long until Richie’s smile was wiped away by the droplets of heavy rain that fell onto them and the concrete. Eddie gasped, feeling the cool air now become freezing and quickly splatter onto his bare legs. 

Richie noticed Eddie’s attire again, seeing as he was wearing knee high socks, shorts and a sweater. Not that good for this type of weather. Richie quickly stopped in his tracks, taking off his grey hoodie with the Guns’N’Roses sign imprinted onto the fabric and holding it out to Eddie.

Eddie’s eyes widened, his arms wrapped around himself and his hair starting to soak up.

“Richie- no, It’s fine. You’ll be-”

“I’ll be freezing, I could get sick, blah blah. I don’t care, you don’t want to get sick and you don’t want to be cold so just take it.” Richie then forced it into the boys hands.

Eddie nodded, quickly sliding on the oversized hoodie over his smaller frame. The sleeves hung past his fingertips and the trim went past his hips and down to his thighs. The smell of cigarettes and cheap aftershave filling his senses and making his pupils become blown out. Richie smiled as he wore a plain white tee and his black ripped jeans and some cheap sneakers. Richie quickly lifted the grey hood over Eddie’s head, it hanging down to his eyebrows and covering him from the rain entirely.

“There we go, you’re all cosy.” Richie smiled, feeling his curls become more and more tight on top of his head due to the wetness.

Eddie felt himself blush and felt his own heat radiate himself, he couldn’t help but roll one sleeve up and reach his pale hand out to Richie’s.

Richie glanced down at the hand with a raised eyebrow, but took it in his scarred palm and held it close to him as he guided Eddie along to his house.

The streetlights lit their way up the path as their feet splashed in new forming puddles and soaking the insides of their shoes. As they arrived outside of Eddie’s small home. They both stopped, staring at each other for a moment and looking into each others eyes.

“Well, today was interesting.” Richie breathed out, feeling his goosebumps grow more along the skin of his arms.

Eddie nodded, his eyes drifting elsewhere. “Please- please don’t tell anyone about why I was up there.”

Richie smiled sadly, “I wasn’t counting on it anyway, bud.”

Eddie nodded again, fidgeting with the sleeve of the hoodie before curling his fingers under the trim- ready to take it off.

“No, no. You can.. you can keep it Eds.” Richie started, “It looks better on you than it does on me.”

Eddie smiled, his perfect white pearls showing between his lips as the apples of his cheeks tinted pink. “Oh really now?”

“Really.” Richie chuckled, shivering visibly but ignoring it.

“I might just keep it then.” Eddie whispered, removing his fingers and wrapping his arms around himself. “Thankyou, Richie.”

“What did I do?”

“You kinda saved me today, if you weren’t there...”

“Eds, if you weren’t there I would’ve jumped.” Richie started, stopping for a moment before whispering with a sad smile yet again, “We saved each other. Simple as that.”

“We did, huh?” Eddie looked at his white sneakers and smiled at the realisation, “Yeah, we really did.”

The two boys stood in silence for a moment or so, with Richie analysing the boy again. He loved how he looked in his clothes, it seemed so natural on him.

“Well, looks like that was meant to be then.” Eddie spoke up again, now looking up and adjusting his hood so he could see Richie better.

“Maybe you’re my guardian angel, Eds.” Richie cooed once again with a lop sided smirk and his eyes lazy, “Or maybe I’m yours.”

Eddie blushed, giving Richie the middle finger. “Shut up, that stuff doesn’t exist dumbass.”

“Well we’ll have to make it exist then, wont we?” Richie asked rhetorically.

Eddie laughed and took a step back away from Richie’s close form. “I’ll see you around then, Richie?”

“Yes you will Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie frowned quickly, “I hate that, don’t call me that.”

“I guess I’ll call you Eds instead!” Richie smirked.

“No-”

Richie blurred out his protest, gazing down at the boy with admiration. “Just get inside before you get sick, Eds. Say hi to Mrs.K for me, I haven’t stayed the night with her in a while.” Richie teased softly.

“Gross.” Eddie muttered, but smiled. “See you around.”

“Yeah, see you around.”

With that, Eddie turned on his heels and rushed to his door- fumbling with some keys that he found under the plant pot next to the front door and quickly unlocked the door, opening it and running inside.

Richie stayed for a moment or two with narrow eyes, watching how the door closed. He then relaxed when he saw a minute or so later that Eddie’s room light was shown through his window. A sigh of relief left Richie’s lips as he turned to continue walking down the path with rain soaking his form.

As he was walking, his hand jittered towards his hoodie pocket- only to remember that he gave his hoodie to Eddie. He chuckled, realising that he had left his cigarettes and lighter in there before walking on.

He couldn’t care less about his cigarette’s for once, in fact- the chainsmoker only cared about his old friend and how he was now back in his life once again to make his world turn from grey to colours.

~~~

Eddie had finished changing into his Star Wars pyjamas, now folding up the clothes that he had wore on the previous day to send into the hamper to be washed. 

He hummed, folding up the damp grey hoodie with a soft smile on his face. His eyebrows quickly narrowed in a thin line when a box dropped out of one of the pockets and onto Eddie’s wooden floor. Eddie held the folded hoodie in one hand before leaning down and picking up the box that had dropped. He then turned it over only to reveal Richie’s pack of cigarettes.

Eddie sighed sadly, dropping the hoodie back onto his bed and he proceeded to clutch the pack with both hands.

He wanted to mend Richie Tozier.

Eddie then walked out of his room and into the bathroom, staring at the pack that had warnings of ‘lung cancer’ spread all over it. He couldn’t help but worry for Richie’s health and mental health too. He sighed shakily, before focusing on the toilet.

He knew that he should probably give the pack back to Richie, but Eddie knew that he could never bring himself to give him the cancer sticks willingly. He only had one true option at this point.

He stood over the toilet, before dropping the pack of cigarettes into the water. Eddie watched the cigarettes float out of the box and on top of the water. Eddie then reached for the flush valve and pushed down on it. It was then revealed that the water started to drown the sticks, flushing them down into the sewers and away from harming a human.

It might only start off as baby steps, but he was going to mend Richie. One step at a time.


	3. { Pills }

Richie tossed and turned, the storm outside loud and frightening. The sound of the wind swishing through the air in ripples was very ear-splitting on this very night. He could barely sleep on this dark; cold night, too many thoughts were swirling inside of him.

His curls were matted against his pillowcase and his legs were tangled between his blanket, in order to get comfy. Which wasn’t working very well.

Richie smiled as he remembered the memories of today, how him and Eddie were reunited. Sure, it wasn’t the same as it was. But who says it can’t be in the future?

A sigh left Richie’s chapped lips as he began to settle into a dark abyss of sleep.

“Richie!”

Richie sat up, full alert and his hand reaching to the baseball bat that remained at the side of his bed for protection- his eyes wide and looking around frantically. His eyes snapped towards the window after hearing several repetitive bangs against the glass, only to see Beverly soaked.

“Bev..!” Richie whispered, dropping the bat and scrambling onto his set of feet, dashing over to the window and slotting it open.

Richie then grabbed Beverly so that he was certain that she couldn’t fall from such a high height, pulling her light body inside and onto the carpet below. The rain spat through the gap of the window, leaving one patch of the carpet to be soaking up the moist liquid.

“Bev, Bev...” Richie sat up quickly, looking down at Beverly’s kneeling form, taking her shoulders into his grip, “What happened?”

Richie couldn’t help but glance at the clock that was nailed to his wall, it was 2:47am. Nothing about Beverly coming to see him at this time could be good.

Beverly was shaking from the cold and from the sobs racketing her form, her ginger hair laid on her forehead and stuck to her pale skin. Her bottom lip started to quiver and her shirt was torn near one of her shoulders, exposing a scratch.

“He..He tried to do it again, Rich.” Beverly whimpered, looking up to Richie, “He almost did.”

Richie’s eyes softened, realising the situation and his arms quickly found themselves wrapped around Beverly’s fragile frame, holding her protectively and dearly. Beverly pressed her face into the crook of Richie’s neck, it didn’t take long for Richie to feel the flood of tears run down his bare chest. Richie felt his heart shatter as he held his best friend close to him.

“You’re safe now Bev, c’mon. Lets get you some clothes.”

Richie returned with some warmed clothes, oversized sweatpants and a shirt that would fit Beverly’s form, he leaned on the doorframe to his room, clothes in his hands as he analysed the way Beverly was. She was sat on the edge of Richie’s bed with her knees up to her chin, showing her bare bruised knees and slight cuts that coated her pale skin.

Richie frowned, walking over and bending down in front of her. “Here, wear these Bev.”

Beverly glanced at the clothes, sighing thankfully and taking them from Richie. “Thanks, Rich.” She whispered, standing up and going to the corner of the room, her back to Richie to change.

Richie of course looked elsewhere, having nothing but respect for Beverly in this time and need even though he has seen her naked in a total of three times. He stared out the window, watching the rain splatter down onto the pavement and forming pools of puddles. The night was dark and the tree branches were swaying in the violent wind, Richie couldn’t help but feel more than just pity for Beverly for running all the way over to his home in such weather and at 2am. 

Not to mention, it wasn’t the safest place to be travelling on the streets at 2am.

Richie continued to wait, patting his bare foot against the carpet as he shuts the window over, continuing to pull the curtains across to help block out the outside view.

“I’m done.” Beverly’s voice croaked.

Richie turned around, smiling sadly at his friend, he saw her form hunched over slightly, hugging herself for emotional support. 

“C’mon, you need rest tiger.” Richie reached one arm out as a suggestion for Beverly to walk up to him.

To which she did, she made her way under Richie’s arm with her head lulling into his chest, to which he tightly held her. He then guided her to his bed, helping her lay down. He watched Beverly fall back with her head on his pillowcase. Richie smiled and moved up and was about to go and grab some extra pillows so he could sleep on the floor until he felt a cold hand grab his arm.

“Stay, I..I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight.”

Richie looked at Beverly with sad eyes, nodding. “Will Bill mind?”

“He’ll just have to deal with it.” Beverly whispered, grinning slightly.

Richie of course, hesitated, but then sighed; crawling into his own bed next to Bev, feeling them both squish up next to each other. This wasn’t the first time that they had both slept in the same bed, it happened quite a lot. However, this was the first time they had since Bev had started to date Bill. So Richie didn’t want to do anything that was crossing the line.

Bev pressed her temple onto Richie’s chest, her arm slacked lazily on top of him. The two held heavy hearts, it’s why the connected so well. They also connected well as they both were born into broken homes that were too far gone to be mended. So they had each other.

“Hey, Rich?”

“Yeah?”

“How are you so strong? You... Your family doesn’t even care and everyone has left you. So how?”

Richie blinked, feeling him laugh mentally. He was the opposite of strong. Beverly didn’t even know half of Richie’s emotions, frankly because Richie didn’t want to look weak in front of someone who was presented as strong and careless. He was a huge softie deep down, but he couldn’t let others see his shattered state. He couldn’t let anyone know his suicidal thoughts.

“Well, I just set my mind on a goal. To not die a virgin.”

Beverly laughed softly, her hair tickling Richie’s skin. “Very funny, but seriously. I want to know.”

“Well..” Richie trailed off, thinking of a quick excuse, “You’ve just got to find that certain someone who will keep you going through dark times.”

“Who’s that person for you?”

“I... I don’t know yet.”

His statement was partly true, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it on the person he was thinking of. He didn’t know if this person would come back into his life or trail off onto a different track again. But as of now, he could only hope.

~~~

Eddie woke up the next morning by a loud shrilled yell downstairs, causing him to sit upright and look at his alarm clock. It was 8am, the usual time he’d wake up. Eddie grunted, climbing out of his bed and fixing his pyjamas.

“Edward Kaspbrak, get down here now!”

Eddie froze, hearing his full name by his Mother’s disgusted tone. He felt his knees quiver and his shoulders stiffen up with fear of what was to come. He felt his feet drag him out of his room and downstairs. He felt each step of the staircase creak, only adding tension to the thickening air. Eddie felt his heart rate speed up irregularly, each beat rattling against his ribcage and causing his breathing to become more shallow.

He walked into the living room to see his Mother stood tall with Richie’s hoodie in her hand. Her eyes were stern through her glasses and her lips were shrivelled tightly with disgust. Eddie felt his throat dry up without any saliva to spare, his anxiety racing through the roof.

“Who’s is this, Edward?” 

Eddie again, cowered away as his full name was used. “I-I..It’s a hoodie.”

“I never asked what, I said who.” His mother’s tone surprisingly turned to calm which only fuelled Eddie’s fear more.

“It’s a friends, Mommy.” Eddie quickly started to ramble, “It was raining and I was getting cold so he-”

“He?!” His mother erupted, fury coating her features as her skin tinted red from anger. “You’re hanging around with boys again, Edward?”

Eddie felt his heart drop to his stomach, feeling himself take a step back. “No, no Mommy it’s not like that-”

“Have you been taking your pills, Edward?” 

He knew exactly what pills she was talking about.

“Mom, because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m sick!” Eddie finally stood up, his heart hammering in his throat load and clear. 

“You are not gay Edward Kaspbrak! You have a mental illness and you need to take your damn pills!” His Mother spat the word ‘gay’ as if it was the most revolting thing she had heard, her face tightening as if she had tasted something bitter.

“No Mom, I love guys! I love them and-”

His Mother raced over to Eddie, taking a strong and harmful grip on one of his arms. Eddie hissed, feeling tears form on his waterline and running down his cheeks. His arm turned white from the loss of blood circulation. 

“Mom, it hurts-”

She only squeezes harder and Eddie could only feel the bruises form against his skin and blotch all over. Eddie yelped loudly, beginning to struggle,

“Listen to be Edward, you’re sick! Sick in the head! You need to take your pills.”

Eddie was thrown to the floor, causing his head to hit the floor- once again making him dizzy and queezy. 

“If you’d take them willingly, this wouldn’t need to happen.”

Eddie tried to sit up, only for himself to be pushed back down against the wooden floor and his Mother hovering over him. Tears dripped out of Eddie’s bambi eyes whilst sobs echoed from his hoarse throat, his legs frantically kicked at thin air and his hair was all over the place. Eddie’s Mom merely shook her head in disgust whilst one hand held three multicoloured pills and the other forced his mouth open whilst her body held him down and pinned against the wood.

No matter how much Eddie fought, he was too weak to fight back against his Mother.

It was then his Mother slotted the pills inside of Eddie’s mouth. Eddie attempted to push them under his tongue but the woman made sure that they fell to the back of his throat. Her hands quickly pinned Eddie’s wrists back and the other held his mouth shut.

“Swallow it!” She hissed in his ear, as her son violently shook beneath her.

Eddie wasn’t sick, he knew he wasn’t. Being gay wasn’t a curse or an illness. He was just different.

When Eddie shook his head for ‘no’, he felt his Mother block off his nose too. Panic surged Eddie all over, his hairs on his arms standing on ends and his eyes widening and staring up at his own flesh and blood.

“You’ll swallow if you can’t breath!”

Eddie then realised he had no option but to swallow the pills. He weakly closed over his eyes with his eyelashes holding the droplets of salty tears- feeling himself swallow the three pillows down his hatch.

These pills only made everything worse.

“Good boy, good boy.” His mother quickly caressed his cheek, cooing as if she felt pride. Her hand was removed from Eddie’s face and she had stopped suffocating her son.

Eddie had no other option but to lay there under his Mom, sobbing out in utter emotional and physical pain. Everything ached in one way or another. Everything started to fade out as the only thing that remained in his senses was him hearing his heartbeat slow down in his eardrums. Eddie’s eyes started to slowly slide over, feeling the world around him distance himself from the small, fragile state of the boy.

If these pills worked the same was as they did last time, this meant that his depression was going to increase and he’d hear the voices again. He probably wouldn’t be able to sleep again. He was going to hallucinate again.

If only he didn’t tell others his deepest secret.

“You’ll be cured soon, Eddie.”

If only Eddie Kaspbrak wasn’t gay.


	4. { The Monday After }

It was now Monday morning and Eddie felt his numb fingertips jitter at the seams of his jumper, feeling the weaves under his senseless skin without his pulse guiding him. 

The pills were messing him up. Bad.

His doctor had prescribed the soft pink and white capsules in order to stop being gay, as if what he had was some sick mental illness. Eddie’s mother thought he was twisted, that the rumours weren’t true and that people were lying about her pride and joy. Several days later she realised that Eddie was in fact a homosexual boy. However, she refused to believe it and dragged him to every therapist and doctor in order to ‘save’ him.

He didn’t need saving, he was gay and that was that. He had only told Bill, Ben, Mike and Stan but somehow the word got around school, eventually a teacher had confronted his mother about the matter. He didn’t mean for everyone to know, but now that everyone did- the reaction he got towards his sexuality choice was repulsive.

Eddie flinched as shame flooded his system once again, pulling his collar higher and walking through the school halls with his backpack settled on him tightly. His eyes held dark bags under them, causing his face to droop down more than the usual. Eddie not only was deprived, he was also pumped up with caffeine from drinking one too many mugs of steaming coffee in under one hour before school.

He was a mess.

He blinked, quickly falling into his own locker and opening it with ease, grabbing certain books that he needed with his head low to distract others anywhere else but from him. He didn’t want any attention at all, he just wanted to be seen as normal. Anything but that ‘girly boy’ who was attracted to men. Anything but that ‘small, weak boy’ that was a wallflower in the halls.

He wasn’t weak. he was strong in more ways than one. People just saw past that because of his physical strength and how it wasn’t at the average strength. But Eddie was in fact very mentally strong and brave despite those who said different. He had to put up with the same homophobic shit every single day and somehow he still managed to crawl out of bed each given morning.

“Eds.” 

Eddie jumped, feeling his hand grip at one of his books tightly- turning to look to his left, to his surprise was Richie.

“R-..Richie, hey.” Eddie cleared his throat to prevent any voice cracks, batting his eyelashes to wake himself up further. “How are you?”

Richie snickered, raising his palm and messing up Eddie’s perfectly neatened strands, causing Eddie to grumble. “I’m fine Eds, I just wanted to check up on you.”

Eddie quickly lifted his clammed palms, flatting down his chocolate locks and sighing awkwardly. “I don’t need to be checked up on, Richie. I’m fine.” Eddie shut his locker over, raising an eyebrow at Richie. 

Eddie was mostly telling himself that he was fine, rather than Richie for emotional support for himself.

Richie pouted, feeling a frown tug at the corners of his lips as he lifted his thumb up, taking Eddie’s cheek in his and gently stroking his thumb across Eddie’s under eye bags, causing the smaller boy to flush up.

“You have bags.”

“And you are in my personal bubble, fuck off Richie!” Eddie snapped, pushing Richie’s hand away.

Richie retreated his hand to his side, leaning into a navy locker as his lanky form look down on Eddie’s figure. 

“Alright, alright. Don’t get your panties in a twist Eds.” Richie almost felt offended at the boys tone, tilting his head. “I was just concerned after what happened on-”

“Nothing happened, Richie. Nothing.” Eddie clutched a book to his chest, feeling the medication take a toll on his head. “I just wanna forget it ever happened.”

Now Richie really felt offended, “Hey, you stole my damn cigarettes-”

“I didn’t steal them, Richie. You gave me your hoodie and they just so happened to be in there.”

“Same thing.” Richie sighed, realising that Richie had once again had his hopes brought up for nothing. “Look, if you wanted nothing between us at all then you shouldn’t have fucking pulled me down from jumping and got my hopes up for something.”

Eddie then blinked, sighing as he rubbed at a single temple. “No, no shit. I uh, I meant about what we were going to do.” Eddie tried to get his brain to function, his fingers playing with his sleeves out of habit. “Not us.”

Richie tilted his head, watching Eddie’s face scrunch up as he tried to form his words. Richie however, didn’t know the story behind why he was unable to think as clearly as usual.

“I meant lets forget about you know, wanting to jump.” Eddie emphasised the final half of his sentence yet remained quiet about it.

Richie smirked, biting at his lip and pushing his glasses higher on his nose with his slender middle finger. “So you’re saying you want to stick around with me?”

“Well-”

“No, no ‘well’s’ or ‘but’s’ Eds, you want to stick around me!” Richie leaned forward and pinched the boys cheeks, “That’s adorable.”

“Don’t call me fucking Eds, Richie! My name is Eddie you dumb fuck.” Eddie hissed, swatting away the boys hands again out of embarrassment. “Also, nothing is adorable.”

“If thats what you believe, Eds!” Richie then swiped the book out of Eddie’s reach, holding it up and reading the cover. “Hm, Math first period? Dang, why even bother?”

Eddie just watched with narrowed eyes and a sigh, “Because I actually care about my life and want to succeed in the future. Unlike you.”

Richie made a faux hiss slip from his chapped lips, placing his free hand to his heart. “You’ve wounded me, Kaspbrak. But, luckily for you I’m getting you out of Math.”

“What-”

“You’re sick or something, your eyes are all droopy and you seem pale as shit. Basically, you look like utter crap.” Richie continued to hold Eddie’s book.

Eddie scoffed, sarcastically grinning. “Well that was the loveliest compliment I’ve ever received! Richard Tozier, you’re such a charmer!”

Richie rolled his eyes and ignored Eddie’s sarcasm, “I’m taking you on a day out.”

“Richie, it’s Monday, stop being stupid.”

“I believe it is you, who is the stupid one my darling boy.” Richie strolled behind Eddie. “Besides, this is what you get for stealing my cigarettes.”

“I didn’t steal your cigarettes! I don’t smoke and I don’t want to smoke!”

“Then where are they?”

“Well... I flushed them.” As Eddie tried to defend himself, Richie scoffed and exaggerated a long sigh. “I did it because I didn’t want you to smoke-”

“I’m only going to buy more and chain-smoke them until I drop dead, you can’t change that so stop trying.” Richie’s words had a bite to them, he shook his head and dangled the book. “Are you coming or not?”

Eddie sucked in his bottom lip, “My Mom will kill me.”

“She won’t find out, you barely skip school. I doubt you ever have.” Richie retorted, his eyebrows raised. “No one asks about me, but then again- no one really gives a shit about me. But that’s besides the point.”

Eddie felt his own heart hurt at Richie’s statement, but he didn’t say anything to push against it, he was too busy focusing on staying sane with the tablets disorganising his mental state.

Eddie sighed, before feeling himself conceive to the temptations. He nodded and walked forward to Richie, both starting to rush out of the school building despite the numbing sensation of anxiety creeping up on Eddie.

~~~

It was Math class, Stan sighed with boredom etched into his tone, but listened as his teacher rambled on about algebra to the class. He tapped his pencil against his knuckles, his eyes focused upon the chalk board as his teacher jotted down equations.

Stan suddenly felt his eyes snap directly to a scrunched up paper ball that fell onto his wooden desk, causing his eyebrows to furrow and his fingers to slowly unravel the paper.

-  
Hey, have you seen Eddie Today? - Bill  
-

The words were scribbled with blue ink, causing Stan to look over to Bill with confusion. Bill was staring at Stan for him to reply quickly.

Stan sighed quietly, using his pencil to neatly write down his reply.

-  
Why don’t you know? You’re his best friend aren’t you? - Stanley  
-

He folded the crimped paper twice, before handing it over to his desk whilst their teacher was still writing equations for the class to complete. Bill eventually opened up the paper, raising an eyebrow before scribbling something else down. He glances up at the teacher to see if he was still turned away, before Bill passed the now scrunched up paper back over to Stan’s desk. Stan unfolded the paper ball, reading the scribbles again.

-  
We argued on Friday & i’ve not heard from him since so I was wondering if you have? - Bill :(  
-

Stan was a little surprised at the new news of Bill and Eddie arguing. Bill and Eddie had never argued, the two of them agreed on most things.

-  
What about? - Stanley  
-

Stan didn’t care about his handwriting being neat anymore, he was just plain curious and folded over the note, passing it back. Bill opened it again, quickly throwing his words onto the paper. Soon the paper was flew back Stan’s way and Stan quickly opened it.

-  
He called me homophobic, it fucking hurt Stan. None of us judge him and we all know.. he started flipping out after he was pushed over again, i worry about him - Bill  
-

Stan looked up from the piece of paper and over to Bill where they both met eyes. Bill genuinely seemed upset and worried just from his facial features, his eyebrows tilted and his lips in a thin line. Stan sighed and sent a nod Bill’s way, hopefully to comfort his friend. Bill looked away, running his fingers through his small strands. 

Stan frowned, before picking up his pencil and scribbling down his answers the equations.

~~~

Richie drove his beat up truck, hid eyes fixated upon the road in front of him through his enhanced glasses. The road that was laid ahead of him was empty due to others being at school and work, so it was a perfect time of day to drive aimlessly.

“So, this day out...” Eddie trailed off, “What exactly are your plans?”

Richie only had one hand on the wheel, the other held his cigarette with it hanging outside of his open window much to Eddie’s protests for him even smoking, he still decided against his thoughts to fill his lungs with toxic.

“Well, nothing.”

“You made me skip school for nothing?”

“Tsk, Eds. I’m not that bad, of course it’s for nothing! We’re just procrastinating until we settle upon an idea. No worries Eddie.” Richie spoke with a tinge of playfulness in his voice.

Eddie folded his arms, patting at his fanny pack which held his large inhaler. His eyes followed the trail of grey smoke that evaporated into thin air and the gushes of wind that surrounded the fast mobile. Eddie rested his head against the window next to him, his knees folded in a comfortable position. 

Eddie let his eyes wander out of his window, watching each tree pass by against the clouded sky, each branch wandering off and hanging over the road, almost like a roof. The small hues of blue that poked through the dark swelling clouds from the sky above added a contrast down upon Richie’s dark blue truck with the light bouncing off from the metal. 

Eddie found himself shift so he could glance at Richie’s attire for the day, he wore simple dark blue jeans and a grey tee that hung off his lanky figure with ripped edges upon his sleeves. His dark curls hung down past his jawline, seeming more tight than they usually would and pulled apart at their own stranded seams. 

His skin was pale, and his lips were cracked which showed the vibrant hues of red that surfaced under the cuts. Eddie then trailed his eyes over to Richie holding the cigarette, his fingertips dripping in black ink; the reason being unknown to Eddie but he didn’t care. The smoke spilled into the air, the grey coloured visible suspension of carbon mixing in with the devoid of colour day.

Eddie then glanced at the veins of Riche’s wrist, the colour surprisingly saturated and bright blue, adding his pale complexion some type of shade to his form. 

Richie then turned to glance at the awfully quiet boy next to him, only noticing the boy snap his head away from his direction. Richie smirked to himself, before turning on the radio with some random Nirvana song playing in the faded background. Richie lifted his cigarette holding hand to the mirror, slightly turning it to Eddie so he could get a better look without driving dangerously. 

His cheeks were tinted red, possibly from being caught staring- possibly not. Richie smirked, his lips cracking further with one lip corner tilted more up rather than his other. He loved how Eddie dressed so smart, how he always wore jumpers with collars in the winter, the only difference today was that the boy was wearing pants rather than shorts. His soft red jumper stuck to him tightly from being washed one too many times and it looked adorable on him, so Richie thought deep down.

However, Richie couldn’t help but notice the small twitches that the boy had rattled every now and then, his knee’s shaking and his fingers jittering at the fabric of the pulled apart seams that belonged to his old jumper. Richie wanted to push away all of the bad thoughts he was thinking, but he just couldn’t help but worry for the small boy. 

Richie frowned as he watched the boy quiver in the mirror, his eyes staring out at the woods that they drove by. He wasn’t like this on Friday when he was him, sure, the boy was an emotional mess on that day just like Richie but today it had seemed as if he had either drunk too much caffeine or not slept for a whole weekend. 

If there was one thing that Richie always had it would be caring for others, even though he would barely show it. He valued friendship more than anything, which also lead to his fear of being forgotten. Since his family barely remembered to speak a word to him, he relied on friends. His fear had came true many times as he drifted on without others caring- he didn’t want anyone else to feel like that or to feel alone in their struggles.

Richie only hoped it was just caffeine causing the boy to have small spasms.

“I like your pants, did my words convince you to stop wearing shorts in Winter?”

Eddie only flushed further, feeling his ears set on fire almost like he was the ash to Richie’s cigarette. “Maybe.”

Richie found satisfaction in the small answer, his grin being lopsided as the boy stared ahead of him, “Just so you know, whilst you were staring at my gorgeous face, I thought of a place to take you.”

Eddie’s nerves and mind was all over the place, scattering and becoming disorganised. He was unravelling piece by piece. Second by second.

“O-oh?”

“Yes, oh.” Richie hummed along with the song in the background for a moment. “It’s a secret though- hey Eds, do you like Nirvana?”

“Not really-”

“Well shut up and listen, because you’ll love them by the end of this car ride.”

Richie then stumped the cigarette out against the outer rim of his car, his dark cigarette daydreams being cut short. His boned fingertips turn at the sound, hiring the song ‘Come as You Are’ up.

“Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.” Richie sung along to the melody of Kurt Cobain’s voice, “As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy.”

Eddie felt him zone out as he watched the lyrics spill from Richie’s trashmouth, watching him in what seemed to be slow motion. His heart beat increased due to his heart swelling with joy in this moment. He adored how Richie bopped his head, how his curls bounced at the cold November air; how his fingertips patted at the steering wheel and even how ridiculously he sang.

“Take your time, hurry up, the choice is yours, don't be late...” Richie sang loud and proud, “Take a rest as a friend as and old memoria...”

Maybe their youth would get a little better with time. Hopefully together, Eddie thought.


	5. { An Abandoned Car Park Building }

Richie pulled over, smirking as he watched Eddie’s confusion grow.

“You stopped here?”

“Yep, now get out.” Richie hummed, before climbing out of the truck doorway- grabbing his keys and standing to his feet.

Eddie was confused, his head tilted as he climbed out and looked at his surroundings. What stood before him was a tall abandoned carpark building surrounded in intertwining railings, the strands of thin grass below standing tall and knee length to Eddie.

“This is an abandoned building.”

“Well done, captain K.” Richie spoke with sarcasm, hands in his pockets, “This is my hideout.”

Eddie stepped forward next to Richie, glancing at the wired railings that stood before them both. “So, how do you get into the hideout?”

Richie hummed yet again, walking along the side of the metal, his fingers trailing against each curve. His eyes fixated on a small gap that he used to climb through when he was younger. “I’m presuming you’re not a climber, right Eds?”

“I am not climbing that thing, no way.” Eddie folded his arms, “There should just be an entrance-”

Before Eddie could finish rambling and perhaps even scold Richie for calling him that annoying nickname, Richie curled his fingers around the gaps of the rails, pulling his light self from the floor with his beaten up converse digging into the tiny gaps- the boy begun to climb the fence. Eddie’s eyes widened in shock as he saw the boy in front of him use his own strength to pull himself up and over the obstacle. Eddie rushed under Richie as he climbed, his arms out to catch him if he somehow fell- even though he’d probably not be able to do anything.

Richie glanced down just as he was pushing one leg over to the other side, seeing a startled and worrisome Eddie, causing his smile to grow and his heart to swell. He then swung another leg over, before jumping to the other side of the ground, the dusted dirt flying into the air from the impact of his shoes.

Eddie practically let out a sigh of relief, now looking across from Richie through the barrier- literally being separated from him physically.

“I can’t climb, asshole.” Eddie brushes off his anxiety that he just had held within him for Richie, “So I guess this was a waste of time.”

Richie smirked, bending down and gripping at the curves of the rails, pulling them back to reveal a small opening, Richie grunted as if he was struggling with the stiffness of the metal. “Crawl, c’mon Eds.”

“Crawl?! My hands and knees will get dirty, bacteria is all over the floor! So many animals have probably-”

“Eddie, I frankly couldn’t give a shit about animals having their daily piss against the dirt, it looks nice and dry so just fucking crawl!”

Eddie scoffed, “You don’t know anything, trashmouth.” Eddie let the childhood nickname slip from his lips without realisation as he got to his knees, crawling through the gap despite him quivering at the grotesque thoughts that spiralled around his mindset.

Richie waited until Eddie was through the gap before letting go of the sprung metal, which snapped back into place immediately as if he hadn’t just been tugging on it. Richie glanced at his own hands, seeing large red indents from holding something which was quite sharp. Richie frowned, seeing that his scar had been re opened from many years ago- wiping the blood against his jeans, causing a wash of purple over his dark blue jeans.

Eddie brought himself too his feet, dusting his hands together and gagging at the dust that flew off them. “Fucking disgusting.” He muttered, going into his fanny pack and pulling out scented hand sanitiser and squirting a dollop onto his palm, rubbing it in continuously.

Richie then stared at Eddie, smirking. “Trashmouth.”

“What?” Eddie looked up, his eyes squinted slightly.

“Trashmouth, you called me trashmouth.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows as a matter of fact, he did call Richie trashmouth a few moments go. “I guess some things just don’t change.”

Richie felt nostalgia linger between the two as they stared into each others eyes, the two sets of chocolate beads blinking with a calming thought swarming between the two.

“Yeah, they don’t.” Richie cleared his throat, before snapping out of his trance. “C’mon, before someone sees that we’re trespassing.”

“Trespassing?!” Eddie shrieks, a voice crack yapping at his voice box, “You didn’t tell me this!”

“Well its an abandoned car park building thing, Eds; it has these stupid fences all around it too. Did you really think we’re allowed in here?”

Eddie folded his arms, his eyes rolling. “If you dare get me in trouble-”

“You won’t Eds!” Richie exclaimed, a smile on his lips. “Don’t worry.”

“How can I not worry?! If my Mom finds out that I’ve skipped school to go to an abandoned place she will literally keep me in the hospital for weeks to get me covered in check ups!”

Richie, unable to relate to the over protectiveness that Eddie struggled to cope with due to his own parents frankly not giving a shit, sighed. “She wont. Besides, you’ve already skipped an hour now. Why worry? There’s no going back so you may as well go all out.”

Richie has a point, Eddie thought with a pout on his lips. The 17 year old boy stepped forward, “Alright, Richie. Lead the fucking way.”

Richie smirked, walking ahead of Eddie and lead the way towards his safe spot he ran too when he needed to clear his brain from the nightmares that possessed him almost every night or those that stuck around during the day.

Eddie stared in front of him, watching the concrete building near. Eddie lifted his fingers up to loosen his white collar, speeding his feet to walk alongside the lankier teen. He was only at Richie’s jaws height, making him look like a child compared to Richie who was 5′10 with long curly hair who also had a deep voice. Eddie was short, thin, scrawny and had voice cracks still.

They both neared the building, Richie walking through what used to be a car entrance to the solid concrete structure. Eddie felt misery hit him as soon as he walked through, as if something heavy was weighing down on Eddie’s chest. Eddie was unsure at first as he wondered if this was a side effect of his medication or not. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows, as Richie too felt this. Richie had even spent many nights out here when he was too upset to sleep under his own house; he would too cry himself to sleep on the concrete ground to give company to himself.

That was why so much misery was held within the space of this very building.

Their footsteps echoed throughout the compound space, walking to the set of concrete steps that humans used to use to get to different floors. The two travelled quickly and silently, Eddie following Richie suit.

The small staircase was dark, due to lightbulbs not even working anymore or anyone caring to perhaps fixing them. Plus, no electricity remained in the building as it was abandoned long ago. Eddie anxiously found his hand edging to Richie’s as they walked up the staircase in silence. Just as Eddie found the courage to actually connect hands with Richie with their skin touching- Richie pulled away and hissed.

“Fuck, Eds!” Richie yelped, holding his hand which had the cut piercing his skin.

“What, what is it?” Eddie started to panic, looking to Richie through the darkness with worry swirling in his bambi eyes.

“Your fuckin’ hand sanitiser stung my hand!” 

Eddie frowned, grabbing at Richie’s wrist instead and pulling him along to the end of the staircase, his eyebrows knitted together and his lips pursed, Richie was confused at first as to why Eddie was pulling him along as if he were a dog that was demanding to not move. His feet pushed at the concrete below him; soon to be pulled onto the top floor which had no roof and nothing but the view of Derry before them.

Eddie then stopped, taking Richie by his fingers and inspecting the palm of his hand which only revealed a cut to which the blood had trailed down his fingers and dried up in Richie;s fingernails and over his knuckles. Eddie grimaced, not saying anything before opening up his fanny pack again. Richie narrowed his eyes and watched Eddie with curiosity, his curls falling over his eyes in order to look down at Eddie.

Eddie pulled out what seemed to be a packet of wet wipes, peeling one out of its container.

Richie only smirked, “Damn Eds, you’re like fucking Mary Poppins with her damn bag. Are you carrying any big dil-”

Richie was cut off by his own girlish squeal, feeling the wipe run over his cut. Eddie smiled, “Beep beep, Richie.”

Richie quickly learnt that Eddie was carrying around disinfectant wipes, which were now being used on him. The wipe was stained a dark red, but Eddie continued to clean Richie’s hand despite his squirming and grunts of pain, soon removing all of the dried and still dripping blood.

Eddie then placed the wipe on the ground, before going back into his fanny pack, fiddling around for a second or two; then revealing a pastel yellow bandaid with small teddy bears as a decoration design.

Richie almost laughed then and there, seeing such a childish design, “Holy shit Eddie, fucking teddy bears?”

“Shut up.” Eddie muttered, a blush coating his cheeks as he peeled away the protection of the stickiness and hovered Richie’s hand in the perfect position before placing down the bandaid on Richie’s awful slice.

Richie couldn’t help but feel even more admiration for the boy in the red jumper. For Richie’s whole life, no one really cared enough to go out of their way to make sure he wasn’t harmed, but here was Eddie Kaspbrak actually patching his small wound up with concern written into his pores.

He couldn’t even remember his parents patching up his own small cuts on his legs from childhood accidents when he came home from school wounded from bullying.

Richie looked away, using his free hand to push up his magnified glasses, a blush splotching onto his skin which he concealed by looking away. Eddie patted down any air bubbles that were trapped inside of the bandaid against Richie’s palm.

“There we go!” Eddie sighed in satisfaction, “Next time, don’t be so stupid. I’ll try and climb over if it saves you from getting hurt.”

Richie practically had heart eyes for the boy.

“No no, you’re too small-”

“No, I can still climb shit despite my height Richie.” Eddie sassed, rolling his eyes; still not noticing the beautiful view before them.

Richie sighed, before taking Eddie’s hand in his assuringly, “I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it because you’re too small and I wouldn’t want you splitting your ass on the sharp metal.”

Eddie looked down at their hands, before looking away to hide his blush, only to meet the stunning view of Derry. Eddie stepped forward, slipping his hand from Richie’s and walking up to the edge of the roof they both stood upon. Eddie stared out at the views of the town’s roads; buildings and hills. If it were darker, the town would be lit up beautifully as if fireflies were dotted around.

Richie smiled at the boy who was in awe of what was in front of him as Richie’s face was too matching Eddies; he was starstruck, not the view- but Eddie Kaspbrak. In the past few days, his life was already so bright and vibrant of colour with him being around, compared to the dull life before he came back into his life. Richie was forever grateful to have met someone like Eddie Kaspbrak, but now he felt infinite now that Eddie was back in his life.

Richie’s only view was Eddie, even though Eddie wasn’t staring back- he didn’t care. Eddie was something else to Richie, he grounded him.

“Its good to see something so beautiful.” Eddie whispered, his tiptoes hanging off the edge.

“Yeah.” Richie breathed, eyes still settled on Eddie. “It is.”

Eddie looked back, smiling at Richie whilst he walked up next to him, sitting down on the edge with his longer legs dangling down. Eddie followed suit, sitting next to Richie, their knuckles touching and grazing at one another in the process.

“How did you find this place?” Eddie asked softly, staring off at the town below them.

“I drove for miles one night, I wound up here.” Richie spoke simply, his glasses falling down on his nose, which he found himself pushing them back up with his middle finger. “It’s where I go to take a breather from everything.”

“So this is your little place?” Eddie turned his head, looking to Richie.

“It can be ours, if you ever need to get away from anything.”

Eddie glanced at their knuckles, his eyes softening before flicking up to Richie. “I just realised something.”

Richie raised a single eyebrow, his head tilting to the left as he stared into Eddie’s beady eyes, he nodded for him to continue.

“The last time we were on a roof together, we were going to kill ourselves.”

The two boys stared at each other with soft eyes full of wonder, for it was true that the two boys not only were going to jump off a school roof to kill themselves on the same day- but they both met each other again when they both needed the other most.

“And now here we are, on a roof together. Sitting on the verge of death.” Richie hummed, swinging his legs. “Fuck you, Grim Reaper.” 

Eddie snorted, “I’m sure he’s oh, so offended.”

“Damn right, he was about to take the wrong two guys.” Richie rubbed at his wrists. “How about a game of loogie to lighten the mood?”

“Alright, you go first.” 

Richie smirked at Eddie’s suggestion. “Alright Eds.”

Richie closed his mouth, feeling himself suck the air through his nose with the help of his throat muscles- feeling the phlegm run down his throat from the top of his mouth with his tongue getting a good grip of the loogie. He then spat it out, watching as it dropped far and splatted onto the ground down below.

Eddie nodded in approval, “Not bad.”

“Not bad? That was fucking amazing! Just like your Mom last-”

“Beep beep, Richie.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

Richie rubbed the back of his neck with a lopsided grin, “Your turn, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie frowned, glaring at Richie’s way.

Richie sarcastically hummed, tapping his chin. “Hm.. Eds it is then!”

“No-”

“Eddie, shut up and do your loogie.” Richie placed his hand over Eddie’s curled up hand, running his thumb over Eddie’s digits.

Eddie felt himself flutter at the simple touch, but he nodded and took his turn. Richie watched as to how Eddie’s face scrunched up as he attempted to make a loogie alike to Richie’s. A smile broke onto Richie’s lips as he watched the boy spit.

The grin was soon wiped away, as he saw nothing but a fat red blob of loogie float in the air for a split second before collapsing down below like Richie’s. Eddie too, was just as shocked as Richie was.

“Eddie, what the fuck?” Richie whispered, stunned beyond belief as to what he saw. “Why was your loogie all... bloody?”

Eddie stared ahead of him, his face pale from fear. Surely it meant nothing that he had just spat up dark red phlegm that looked alike to a visible blood clot. He felt all of his nerves shake in fear, a short whimper leaving his throat as he began to make links.

What if the pills were messing up his insides? What if they were not only making him spasm with twitches, but were slowly eating him inside out?

“Eddie!” Richie gripped at Eddie’s hand to grasp his attention, “Why did your loogie look like your Mom’s period jelly?”

“Richie! Shut the fuck up!” Eddie spat, his senses tingling and his ears turning red. “Just shut up for fucking once!”

Richie flinched, feeling his chest tighten but he sat up and only rubbed a thumb over his digits again to help calm the boy down again.

Eddie tried to calm down, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He too felt his chest tighten, but for a different reason. He was having an ‘asthma’ attack, which he knew deep down were only panic attacks. He felt himself twitch his fingertips to his already opened fanny pack, shuddering all over as his throat grew tight also, his palm clamming up and becoming sweaty.

As he pulled out his inhaler, it quickly slipped from his sweated palm, dropping below him thousands of feet under. A shrilled squeak left his throat. “No!”

Richie’s eyes widened, quickly grabbing Eddie’s cheeks and turning his head to face him. “Eddie, calm down- alright?”

“How can I fucking calm d-down?!” Eddie squeaked, tears flooding down his cheeks from the immense fear pulsing blood through his veins. “They’re gonna fucking kill me!”

Richie rubbed at Eddie’s cheeks, swatting away any of the salty pools. “Who? Who Eds? I won’t let anyone fucking kill you!” Richie tried to comfort the panicked boy.

“The pills!” Eddie croaked, his fists know holding a handful of Richie’s shirt, his eyes completely glossed over.

Richie felt himself stop, feeling an unknown emotion surge. “Pills?”

“Yes, dumbass! Pills! Fucking pink capsules that are supposed to.. to fucking ungay me! Because apparently being gay is a fucking mental illness!” Eddie spat his words as tears soaked his now blotched skin. 

Richie felt bricks smash into his heart, taken back by the new found information, staring into Eddie’s eyes intensely. “What?”

Richie was livid, his face turning red with anger; feeling eye twitch as he seethed.

“I’m not supposed to be gay, it’s not fucking right Rich, my Mom is right. I need to.. I need to get better, you know? B-but.. they’ve been keeping me awake at night.. I can’t eat without throwing it back up a few hours later and fuck- the twitches Rich, the fucking twitches.” Eddie was shaking, his bottom lip quivering from the sobs that racketed him, “A..And now this? Is this what I get for being gay?”

Richie was sure he’d never seen a boy so broken.

“I-I..I’m sick.” Eddie wheezed, his chest violently moving up and down. “I need to be cured.”

“No, no you don’t!” Richie cried, cupping Eddie’s cheeks closer. “You’re fine, Eddie. Whatever your Mom has been telling you, she’s fucking wrong! You’re perfect the way you are, Eds.” 

Eddie shook his head, staring at Richie with flickering orbs. “My own Mom forced those fucking pills down my throat, Richie.” He croaked, the corners of his lip twitching as he spoke, his tone softer but his emotions were still vibrant, “I-..If I didn’t swallow them, I would’ve suffocated because of her. I was so scared. A part of me wanted to just l-let it end there, you know? Just let her end it all...But I fucking didn’t- because..”

Eddie trailed off, finding his words; to which they wouldn’t form from his lips.

“Because?” Richie whispered brokenly, wanting the boy to rant his emotions out before he could give any input to help the boy.

“Because...” Eddie’s eyes flicked down to Richie’s chapped lips, staying there. “A-at the back of my mind, I remembered that I didn’t just throw those cigarettes down the drain for no reason.”

Richie’s face scrunched up, his hands slowly moving away from Eddie’s face to hold his hand. Just as he was about to form his sentence to ask what Eddie meant, he was cut off.

Eddie Kaspbrak was kissing Richie Tozier.

Richie had his hands raised in shock, his cheeks lit up and his eyes staring at Eddie’s closed orbs. Richie had kissed others before, but nothing had ignited him like this. His lips were tingling, surely swelling up from such friction and force from the smaller boy- possibly even bruising. Richie then closed his eyes, feeling himself melt into the kiss with the boy beside him; Richie gripping at Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer, carefully due to being so close to the edge. Eddie hummed into the kiss, his tears rolling onto Richie’s.

The two boys were so close that their noses were pushed up against each other as both of them moved in perfect sync. Richie tilted his head to the right, whilst Eddie moved his to the left. Eddie still had his fists bundled up in Richie’s shirt somewhere, pulling the boy closer with such confidence; to which surprised Richie but also intrigued him to carry on the kiss further.

The two broke apart for a split second, both gasping for air with a string of saliva connecting the two- but again, Eddie forced himself back into a kiss with Richie.

Not that he was complaining.

Richie lifted his hands under Eddie’s jumper and onto the skin of his waist, feeling how cold he truly was to the touch. Eddie then lifted one single hand to Richie’s hair and lightly tugged on his roots with affection, running his steady fingertips through each tight curl with adoration. This only caused Richie’s closed eyes to blow out in a haze.

It was then, Eddie finally broke away as did Richie, their eyes slowly opening. Richie could see every vivid pore on Eddie’s skin, as well as how his eyelashes stuck together due to his heavy tears. A short sniffle broke the tension between the two.

“I-I flushed them for you.”


	6. { Hey Jude }

“I-I flushed them for you.”

Richie was still in awe of the previous moment that had just took place before him. His heart was warm and his legs were jittering out of habit, no one had ever made such an effort to help him, even something simple as flushing his cigarettes down the toilet to reduce the cigarettes he would smoke in his lifetime really brought Richie into pieces. It felt as if he was on fire and lifted from the ground, as if he was weightless because of the boy beside him with the red jumper.

Richie was the most bisexual boy that could possibly walk the planet. He struggled with his own war, containing his sexuality beneath his layers at all times. Richie would push aside his attraction towards males and focus solely upon women. Why would he need males in his life if he finds girls attractive? 

Everything was slotted perfectly into his plan, until now.

Richie blinked, his eyes lost in Eddie’s and his jaw slacked from the shock that pulsed from his pacing heart. Richie felt his arms loosen from Eddie’s waist, reaching for one of his clenched fists knotted around his shirt, softly placing it into his own hand. Eddie’s eyes broke away, looking out at the scenery before them with their legs dangling over the edge of death.

“I..I’m sorry about that, fuck, you’re straight as fuck and I just...”

“Eds?”

“Yeah?”

“You do realise I kissed back, right?”

Eddie bit on his lip his tears coming to a halt, looking back and tilting his head. “That doesn’t mean anything though, you-”

“I kissed back, I wanted to kiss you.” Richie smirked, rubbing his thumb over Eddie’s soft moisturised hands. “And I’m shocked that you were confident enough to kiss me despite not even knowing my sexuality.”

Eddie flickered his eyes back to Richie, watching his hair swing through the wind, his glasses barely hanging on causing a small sheepish smile to grow on Eddie’s small lips.

“Yeah, you did.” Eddie looked down at their hands, staring for a moment with the swirls of wind coming between them. “I’m shocked at myself if I’m honest.”

The air fell silent again, both of them in comfortable silence. The town of Derry staring right back at them with cruel intentions for the boys. They stuck out, they weren’t what you’d see on screens. Even they both knew themselves that two boys together were forbidden, it wasn’t the norm. Richie kept his eyes fixated on Eddie as if he was the only view that he was interested in. The afternoon air drew cold, the clouds flooding with a darker shade of grey.

“I’m proud, I didn’t have the balls.” Richie squeezed Eddie’s hand for comfort, “I’m glad you did.”

Eddie glanced back at Richie, his grin curling more. “Totally worth skipping school for.”

“Yeah, it was.” Richie then removed his hand from Eddies, digging into his own pocket and grabbing the pack of cigarettes that lingered in his jeans. His other hand pulled out the lighter that remained in his other pocket.

Eddie watched, his eyes full of curiosity. He noted how Richie placed the cigarette between his lips, holding one hand over the now lit flame, pushing it towards the tip of the stick and setting his lungs alight.

Richie removed his hand that covered the flame, flicking off his lighter that had ‘Tits’ scribbled on it with a sharpie and shoving it back in his pocket. “Want one?”

Eddie watched as Richie inhaled the smoke, it leaving through his nose and vanishing into the thin air, Eddie grimaced. “I don’t want to die by lung cancer.”

“Fair enough.” Richie shrugged, “It’s not for everyone.”

“It’s for wannabe punks, like you.” Eddie smirked, his hands on his knees.

“I am not a wannabe, I am the perfect example of a flawed punk boy. I even have the sexy hair.” Richie pulls the cigarette away, breathing the toxic smoke out as he whips his hair towards Eddie, receiving a giggle or two from the small boy. “It’s grunge-like, don’t you agree Eds?”

Eddie moved the boys head, smirking. “Shut up, your curls look like pubes.”

Richie raised an eyebrow, “Oh, so you’re bushy down there?”

Eddie’s face lit up like a traffic light, shaking his head. “Richie! Don’t fucking... say shit like that!” 

Richie laughed, wrapping his boned bare arm around Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “Oh c’mon, you love it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, reluctantly leaning into Richie and staring off at the hills that folded around the town of Derry, carving the edges of what their town was. Eddie remained silent as his thoughts pondered into the clouds, settling on a topic.

“Why is everything so fucked up?”

Richie glanced down at Eddie, with him still in his arms. “How so?”

“Your parents, my Mom. My pills, your loneliness. This town.” Eddie breathed out, his eyebrows lightly furrowed.

Richie wanted to push on about the pills, how Eddie had spat up blood- he was desperate too. But every fibre in his body kept back his words

Richie pursed his lips together, looking at the boy then out at the view. “I guess it does revolve around this town, doesn’t it?”

“I mean- I bet New York is better, or... or somewhere!” Eddie found his words, spluttering them out without thinking, “Just somewhere better than here; not in this fucking town.”

Richie rubbed circles in the boys arm, soothing him from his nerves. “Do you want to leave?”

“Excuse me?” Eddie whispered, as if Richie had shocked him beyond belief.

“I said, do you want to leave?”

Eddie blinked, looking down at his converse that hung over the edge that would lead him to death if he happened to fall. “I don’t know.”

“Me neither.” Richie sighed, “I’d love too but...”

“But Bev, right?”

Richie gave him a puzzled expression, “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I can just tell, you two are close as hell.” Eddie spoke with a soft voice, “You both have family issues and she spends her time with you and Ben- Bill gets jealous.”

Richie snorted, “Bill gets jealous? He’s got to watch out for Ben, not me. I’ve got my eyes settled upon you.” Richie lightly flirted, his hot breath tingling at Eddie’s neck.

“I- I’m not talking to Bill right now, but I’ll let him know if we ever do.”

“Why not?” Richie frowned, “He’s your best friend.”

Eddie sighed, looking away as he remembered his familiar mistake. “I messed up, I called him homophobic when he obviously isn’t and, fuck, I blamed him for the bullies and shit. I fucking hate what I did but I don’t want to face him.”

Richie frowned as the old memories of him and the other guys being best friends flooded in. Sometimes it was hard to even remember the times they spent together and the mayhem they caused; it made Richie upset that he wasn’t with them today. Things just wouldn’t be the same, he wasn’t the same trashmouth- quite frankly people saw him as the weird grunge kid that made dick jokes too much. Including his long lost friends.

Richie would always assure himself that he was better off alone, anyway.

“Sometimes you got to face others, Eds. You don’t wanna end up like me, friendless and shit.”

“You are not friendless, Richie.” Eddie leaned closer to Richie, feeling their bodies heat up in harmony, “You have me.”

“Ouch.” Richie spoke with sarcasm, “Did Eddie Kaspbrak just friend-zone me?”

“Shutup, loser. You know what I mean.” Eddie rolled his eyes, “You also have Bev, you’re like her brother.”

“Brother-zoned, ouch.” Richie spoke with sarcasm again, a grin toying on his lips.

“Beep beep, Richie.”

Richie laid his head on top of Eddie’s, Richie pulling his cigarette between his lips yet again- taking a large puff before taking it away and flicking away the ash. RIchie was unknown to the stare that Eddie was giving to the cancer stick. 

It was in that moment that Richie was truly stunned by Eddie as he could do nothing but watch as Eddie snatched away the cigarette and pushed it in his mouth.

“Eds-”

It was too late to even stop him, the poor boy was already choking on the smoke that heaved through his corrupted lungs and bashed against his teeth. The smoke blew out in irregular coughs, causing Richie to pat his back comfortingly.

“Well that was both adorable and horrifying.” Richie raised an eyebrow, taking the cigarette back from a choking Eddie. “Why did you... You know you can’t smoke, so why?”

Eddie was struggling between his coughs, especially without his inhaler, but somehow managed to form a sentence with the help of Richie patting his back.

“I-i..I wanted to see why you did it.”

Richie furrowed an eyebrow, seeing as the boy was ready to form his next few words again.

“I u-u..understand why you do, now.”

~~~

Time passed and after the two boys managed to finish their time upon their own hideout that Richie had shared with Eddie as they now drove back in silence.

The sunset with lilac and red, setting over the country lanes. Both boys sat with the radio on, smiling to themselves as the small talk died down and the realisation of todays events settled in. Eddie and Richie had kissed and shared a moment with each other. For a matter of fact, it was Eddie’s first kiss and it felt better than expected.

Angst still stained the air, however. There was still that tension from Eddie’s dark words to do with the smoking situation, but Richie ignored it as much as he could and covered it with sexual innuendos.

“I hope you don’t choke that much on my dick, Eds.”

“Beep beep, Richie!!”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile at the small comment he had made, sighing softly. It was almost as if his life at home didn’t matter in this moment; he felt infinite.

Richie reached for the control system, changing the radio station to a different one. Eddie’s eyes lit up at the familiar song by the Beatles that strummed through the car; even though the song was almost over, his favourite part had not passed yet.

Richie smirked, glancing at Eddie. “Hey Jude?”

“Hey Jude is my shit, dude!” Eddie exclaimed, smiling widely. “I’m gonna do something stupid, you can’t stop me.”

“Oh?” Richie raised an eyebrow, “Like what?”

Eddie smirked, staying silent as the lyrics flew through the truck. He opened the window that sat behind him, climbing out of it and into the open space taht was left to store storage if needed. Richie’s eyes widened as he slowed down his truck, shocked at the boys bravery to climb outside the car and onto the platform.

“Eddie- you little shit! Be fucking careful!”

“Shut up trashmouth!”

// Then you'll begin to make it better, better, better, better, better... 

Ohh! //

Eddie squealed as his favourite part of the song unravelled into the cold air around him, Eddie lifted his arms in the air much to Richie’s worry.

“Nah, nah nah, nah nah!” Eddie sung out, the headlights lighting up the country lane that they took a short cut on, the radio blasting loud as the trees around them created a tunnel. “Nah, nah, nah nah, hey Jude!”

Richie glanced out of one of his mirrors, seeing the boy in pure bliss and for once not caring about a thing in the world. A smile broke onto his lips, revealing Richie’s crooked teeth. Richie flicked the lights on his car to get a better view of his angel in his own world, speeding up once realising he was safe.

// Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah,

Hey, Jude..

Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah, nah, nah nah,

Hey, Jude.. //

Eddie sung along loudly, in his own bubble with only Richie as a witness. All of his care flew out into the wind that pushed against him, with his red jumper flowing and rising lightly up his stomach.

“What a fucking idiot.” Richie whispered to himself, his smile only growing at the dork that he had happened to fall in love with.

Eddie held his sleeves high, his back lightly bent as he embraced the wind that intertwined with his seams and breezed his pores open, because he had never felt happier to be doing this with a certain person.

They both felt infinite.

~~~

Richie pulled over outside of Eddie’s house, one hand gripping the steering wheel. “You don’t have to go home tonight, you know.”

“I know, but I should.” Eddie sighed, “if I leave it any longer then she’ll have the town turn into a search party.”

Richie hummed a reply, staring out at Eddie’s small home before turning back to Eddie. “Well, you know my door is always open to you.”

Eddie smiled softly, staring at Richie’s magnified glasses, his insides being butterflies flying against his stomach line. Eddie sighed happily, despite his worries for when he set his foot through his front door. 

“I know.”

“Yeah.” Richie whispered awkwardly, “Stay safe, Eds.”

“I will if you promise not to call me Eds.”

Richie fake gasped, “How dare you? I could never!”

“Looks like I’m not making any promises then.” Eddie teased, gripping the car door handle. “See you, Rich.”

Richie quickly grabbed Eddie’s jumper, pulling him close and pressing his lips to Eddies with closed eyes. Eddie felt himself melt into the kiss straight away with electricity sending volts throughout each others bloodstreams.

Eddie gasped into the kiss, feeling Richie lick his bottom lip for permission to enter. That’s when Eddie pulled away at the anxiety rushing through him

What if he didn’t know how to do it right?

Richie looked a little hurt at his actions, but smiled it off; he knew deep down that Eddie was a germaphobe.

“Sorry.” Eddie whispered, shaking his head “I-”

“No Eds, don’t worry. You don’t need to explain yourself, I wouldn’t wanna do anything that’d make you uncomfortable.” 

Eddie smiled at that, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Richie’s acne scarred cheek, causing the heat to radiate from him. Richie held his hands on the wheel firmly, being a flustered mess despite fighting the blush.

“Goodnight, drive safely.”

“I always do, Eds. Have a nice night.”

Eddie pulled away, climbing out of the beat up truck, staring at Richie through the glass for a minute- causing Richie to meekly wave. Eddie smirked, before rushing off down his path and quietly opening his door.

Once again, Richie watched with soft eyes, waiting until he saw a light turn on. Just to be safe. Soon enough, a light did turn on which made Richie sigh in relief that his soon to be boyfriend was home safe at last. 

Richie slumped back in his seat, staring for a moment longer than he probably should, just incase his Mom looked out and saw his truck. A sigh emitted from his throat, before feeling a strange urge, an urge he hadn’t felt before. His fingers twitched into his pockets, pulling out the pack of cigarettes into his palm. Richie’s eyes hardened, before rolling down his window and lashing them out onto the concrete road.

Richie quickly felt a tidal wave splash off his chest, his shoulders lifting up.

And with that, Richie Tozier drove away. For once, safely- because Eddie told him too.


	7. { Richie }

Richie found himself alone in his car, driving home at roughly 8pm that night after his adventurous day with Eddie, his cravings for the cigarettes only growing stronger by each given second but his refusal to disappoint Eddie lurked on his shoulders. He was going to change for the better, just for Eddie.

His hands gripped at the leather wheel, his red truck gliding down the familiar roads with the faint radio humming along in the background. The melody intertwined itself through the vehicle, one of his favourite artists playing to soothe his road anxiety that he’d keep a secret.

// Didn't know what time it was and the lights were low  
I leaned back on my radio  
Some cat was layin' down some get it on rock 'n' roll, he said  
Then the loud sound did seem to fade  
Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase haze  
That weren't no D.J. that was hazy cosmic jive //

Richie glanced at his mirrors, checking around him as his fingers tapped at the steering wheel to the sounds that echoed into his eardrums.

// There's a starman waiting in the sky  
He'd like to come and meet us  
But he thinks he'd blow our minds  
There's a starman waiting in the sky  
He's told us not to blow it  
Cause he knows it's all worthwhile  
He told me... //

The car strummed along the pavement, the wheels strolling and skidding at the tarmac- the same exact tarmac that crippled his young lungs. Richie felt the words slowly make their way out of his own mouth as he softly sung along to David Bowie’s fantastic tune.

// Let the children lose it  
Let the children use it  
Let all the children boogie //

Oh how Richie related to this song, he had met his own Starman- one with asthma problems and has a homophobic mother and pills lodged into his system that were screwing up his mental and physical state. He blew his mind, in more ways than one.

In this moment, Richie felt timeless in his own world as his thoughts for once weren’t full of clogging smoke, but his sane mentality to calm him. He was sober, no bad thoughts or nothing to blister his mood. Besides, Richie had no fears as of now- his fear of being forgotten was reality, no one heard him scream ‘please see me’ when he needed it most. 

He got used to his fear as it had became reality to him.

Richie’s headlights lit up the path, now in his home road; going much slower as he knew how many kids liked to have fun in the dark. His eyes squinted through his glasses, making each house from the next. One in particular was familiar to him, the Denbrough household. The house in which his old friend lives in, but the two barely would look at each other in the hallways now. Nothing but strangers, just like he was with Stan, Ben and Mike. He only spoke to Bev and now Eddie.

Richie drove past, his eyes fixated upon the road again as he pulled up in front of his home. His free hand quickly flicked the radio off, cutting away David Bowie’s Starman from his ears. 

Richie remained in his car for a few seconds, staring out at his broken home as he yet again contemplated on even going inside. He could run away and no one would notice or bat an eyelash. He’d just be another missing kid in Derry that would soon be forgotten about.

Richie pulled his car keys, climbing out of his red truck and locking the doors shut. His fingers dangled the loose keys, allowing the sound of them jitter together to clang in the space before him. He strolled towards the front door down his disorganised pathway with the slots of pavement out of place. How the weeds grew a bit more on their plot of land compared to others was noticeable even to those partly blind. 

His other keys were lifted up, going into the keyhole and unlocking his front door. Richie stepped inside, being greeted by a wave of anger as soon as he shut the door behind his frame.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“I wasn’t going to touch you, Maggie!”

Richie rolled his eyes, walking through the hallway and into the kitchen- only to see both of his parents arguing yet again. His throat went dry the second he walked in, seeing both of his parents in each others faces with venom tinting the air. 

His Mom looked over, stumbling in her step as she pointed her empty bottle at her own son, glaring at her husband. “Does he know?”

Richie’s Dad looked astonished and scoffed, “You’re nothing but a drunk, a drunk that believes in stupid rumours. No he doesn’t.”

Richie stayed silent and walked alongside the walls, being anxious to even say a word- feeling the walls cave in around him and trapping him in the tension filled room. Richie walked up to his fridge, opening it up and searching for a drink quietly.

“You’re lying, Wentworth!” Maggie hissed, glaring at her husband with alcohol washing through her system. “You’ve been sleeping with that woman, haven’t you? That’s if she even was a woman.”

Wentworth felt his jaw tighten, the familiar vein popping in his forehead. “Shut the fuck up, Maggie. You don’t know shit!”

“That’s why you’re a dentist, isn’t it? You’re a freak! you look inside peoples mouths and.. and you do disgusting, vile things!” She shrieked, dangerously wavering around the bottle, “I bet all of those he-she bitches are all over you, hm? You like the transvesites, don’t you? You’re getting tired of me.”

Richie flinched at each transphobic slur that slipped from his mothers mouth, he quickly found a large carton box of pure orange juice, quickly pulling it out of its cold cavern, grabbing a cup to pour his juice in silently.

“You shouldn’t say stuff like that, Mom.” Richie spoke up, his back to his parents who suddenly turned to him.

“Excuse me, young boy?” Maggie spoke with a disgusted tone, “What did you just say to me?”

“Maggie, just shut up let him go to his-”

“Shut up, shut the fuck up!” Maggie hissed at her husband, her words having an impact and bite. “What the fuck did you just say, Richard?!”

Richie turned around, the cup of orange juice being held lazily in his hand, the same hand that held the stupid plaster on his palm. “I said-”

The woman before him screamed in frustration, the bottle of hers swinging out of her grip and rotating through the air. Everything seemed to be in slow motion for Richie, as he watched the green glass bottle come swinging towards his face. His eyes were wide and he started to duck, his knees bucking down and his hands covering his face- as if he was hiding from the mass destruction that could come to his face if it so happened to hit him.

Then everything was in its usual pace.

Richie had slid down the wall to protect himself, the glass smashing just above his head with the tiny crystals splattering all over him and the ground around him. A few slices were marked into his face, two on his left cheek and one on his forehead near his eyebrow, causing a small sting to surface upon his skin as well as small red dots of metallic blood.

“Look what you did this time, Maggie!” Wentworth growled, “You wasted a perfectly good bottle!”

The two argued in the background as Richie felt himself slide down the wall more, shock stunning his body into a paralysed state for a moment as he held himself for comfort. His hands slid down his face, across his chest and made their way to the opposite hands side of the waist. He cradled himself, as if he was his own guardian. Like he had no one else to comfort him.

He hadn’t even bothered to notice the crumbled glass that held his beverage inside of it.

“We can get another fucking bottle, the more booze the fucking better.” She hissed again, leaning into one of the counters. “This is why I hate you, I wanted a daughter- not another you.” 

The words pierced through Richie’s chest; the worst part was that they were acting as if he was never there. As if his mother hadn’t just almost killed him by smashing a glass bottle across his head. As if his mother hadn’t just wished he was never born for a daughter in his replacement.

His family truly had forgotten him a while ago as he was the ghost of the Tozier family.

He just wanted to be noticed, to be cared; hell, to be controlled. Richie could set something on fire, like the police station yet they wouldn’t care. He could shoot a damn school up and they wouldn’t care. He had too much free will, too much for his comfort.

Richie pulled himself to his shaken feet, his fingertips quivering as the glass pierced his skin there too as he pulled himself up. He stumbled back, watching his parents bicker back and forth.

He couldn’t help but wish he wasn’t alive anymore. Not with a family like this.

Richie rushed forth, budging himself out of the kitchen with the glass crumbling under his step. He quickly ran out of his front door, not caring to shut the door and leaving it wide open for anyone to run in. All care had left the boy, he didn’t have any ground. He just needed to clear his head.

The boy fiddled with his keys between his bloody fingertips, staining each silver key with his insides. Soon enough, he managed to open his red truck door, climbing inside and zooming off. He quickly flicked the radio on to maximum volume, allowing his thoughts to drown away as the song flooded his system and swarmed away his bad thoughts.

It took a minute for Richie to notice the song that had started to strum.

// Hey, Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better //

Richie felt himself crumble then and there, driving at 90 as he lost his route to his unknown destination. Tears welled up in his eyes and begun to stream down his battered face.

// Hey, Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better //

The lyrics were in sync with the situation Richie found himself in, for once he couldn’t scream for attention in hope someone would notice him. He had to go out and get it. He had to get what he wanted, what he needed.

Richie felt his lips part, but his teeth clench and grind against one another. His hands clenching at the leather wheel, both hands clamming up, slipping against the black leather.

He needed him. 

Eddie was his rock, his bright light in the middle of midnight. Eddie had lifted him from the suicidal thoughts he once felt a few days ago. Nothing was more angelic to Richie than Eddie simply being in his life again, being his guardian angel. Saving him from mass destruction.

// And anytime you feel the pain,  
Hey, Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool  
Who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder //

Richie found himself remembering Eddie in his truck, stood up on the country lane with the dark trees hanging over him and his silhouette. How this was his song, his song that somehow fitted the mood. Just like now. Every lyric seemed to be a jab at Richie, telling him to get up and chase after his dreams instead of allowing them to be turned into nightmares. 

He was supposed to be running to something, not away from it.

Thats when Richie pulled over in the middle of an abandoned road, his chest shaking and his hair falling over his face- his head staring at his lap with such emotion clawing at his heart.

// Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah nah //

“Fuck.” Richie croaked, the tears falling onto his lenses.

His hands too fell to his lap, resting lazily as his whole body was for once not tense- but limp. 

He stared at his bare wrist, his white tiger stripes coating them in a clustered mess in no coordination. One being more curved, the other being in a long line with another being zig zagged. It was almost like knots and crosses, except they were all crosses.

His head finally slumped back, hitting the head rest behind him, his hands coming up and covering his face as the pain surged in. Richie needed Eddie, Eddie needed Richie.

He wasn’t sure if they were matched in the stars, as the two were far from star crossed lovers. Fate wasn’t for them. They had all the flaws. 

Something as simple as Eddie’s song however, managed to impact Richie down to his core. It made him realise that he didn’t give a shit about the judgement, if anything- standing out would make people see him. The real him. The real Richie Tozier that adored Eddie Kaspbrak with every fibre in his collapsing body.

// Hey, Jude, don't let me down  
You have found her, now go and get her  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better //

So he vowed to make it better, for him and Eddie.


	8. { Stay Soft }

Eddie walked into his home, his heart hammering in his chest and washing his blood around his system at a high rate; after checking stuff off his bucket list such as skipping school, smoking a cigarette, kissing someone and stand up in the back of a car/truck of some sort with the wind in his face (bonus points that it was to Hey Jude) he was feeling starstruck after such an eventful day.

It was all because of Richie.

Eddie felt breathless, but in the best way possible. For once, he wasn’t reaching for his inhaler despite him losing it. For once, Eddie had rebelled for once in his life and didn’t regret a minute of it.

“Eddie, are you home?”

His buzz came crashing down, revealing a soft sigh from Eddie, “Yeah, sorry- I was studying homework with a friend.”

Eddie attempted to keep his voice from wavering as he watched as his mother moved to the doorframe of the living room, staring down Eddie to see his attire as if he was hurt in some way. 

“I see, did you have anything to eat?” His Mother, Sonia stared down at him with raised eyebrows.

“Uh yeah, yeah his Mom cooked for me.” He lied, fiddling with his sweater. “It was nice.”

Truth was, Eddie wasn’t hungry at all since the pills. If anything, he was just more thirsty.

“Oh? Did his Mom now?” Sonia emphasised the word ‘his’ in her question, casuing Eddie to flinch.

“Yes, Mom. Before you ask or anything, no he’s not gay and no I don’t like him like that.” Eddie paused, “He has a girlfriend.”

“Oh!” Sonia exclaimed in somewhat relief, “Who is he?”

Eddie sucked in a breath, “Richie Tozier, you remember him- right Mom?”

Sonia stiffened up at the memory of the small boy that would often spend nights at their place, “That trashmouth you used to idle with?”

“Uh yeah, we have a huge project to do together. You know?” Eddie stared at his Mom with his soft bambi eyes. “It’s for, uh, science, biology specifically.”

Sonia felt her eyes narrow, leaning in the door frame as her figure towered over Eddie’s smaller frame. 

“Oh, what are you studying?”

“The human anatomy.” Eddie spoke quick, his knowledge on science not being the best.

Sonia merely nodded, pushing her glasses up and standing upright; her hair pulled back into a slick bun with her pyjamas on her body.

“You look exhausted, Eddie. Go upstairs and get ready for bed, don’t forget your pills before you go to bed okay sweetheart?”

Eddie mentally cringed, but pursued to cover it up with a grin as if he was being ‘cured’ by the pastel pills. He straightened his form as he looked up at his Mother with confidence.

“Of course, goodnight Mom.”

“No goodnight kiss?”

Eddie clenched his fist, feeling something snap inside of him which somewhat was alike to disgust. A tingle ran up his spine and stung at all of his distasteful nerves.

“I’m feeling kind of ill.” Eddie looked away, going to grab the staircase. “Goodnight.”

“Looks like the pills still aren’t working.” Sonia sighed, before ushering the boy away with her hand. “Goodnight, hun.”

Eddie felt his jaw clench with seething anger for the person that he was born from, but he said nothing and instead allowed his feet to carry him up the creaking staircase. His hand holding onto the railing to steady his shaken self up the steps towards his room. 

Eventually he settled upon the top floor of his crooked house, he opened up his bedroom door and quickly made himself into it; slamming it behind him with a wave of relief washing over him.

She didn’t make him swallow the pills today.

A smile plotted onto his lips. Today couldn’t have been more perfect even if it were a dream. Eddie wrapped his arms around himself as the fuzziness swarmed in his stomach, with his heart being enchanted to the very core. His back was pressed against his pastel yellow written walls, sliding down ever so slightly to allow his thoughts to process everything.

He had kissed Richie Tozier, the flawful boy who smoked too much with an overflowing sink for a mouth. The boy with scraggy brown thorns for hair as it was a lovely whisky shade, the colour of fallen leaves browned and sleek with the first rain of autumn. How such a tint could play with the light, like peering at the sun through a jar of pine honey. 

Eddie couldn’t even get started about Richie’s eyes. Oh those eyes. He loved how his glasses magnified those hickory rich earth smothered pools that were defined by thick spider-leg like lashes. Richie’s brown-mahogany orbs scintillated constantly with that same mischievous glint that could be noticed next to the umber that rimmed his iris, which was something Eddie constantly picked up on.

Eddie recalled the taste of nicotine that lingered on Richie’s lips, how it tasted god awful to Eddie at the time but for some reason, Eddie found it addictive and wanted to go back for more- almost as if Richie was the Cigarette himself.

Eddie huffed, feeling a blush tint his cheeks as he caught himself in a daydream about Richie Tozier. 

How pathetic Eddie Kaspbrak was for finding himself in such a situation.

Eddie walked towards his closet, opening it up to find a set of pyjamas to wear for the night. He found himself picking a random shirt from one of the racks, lashing it onto his bed and chose to wear his underpants for the night. He turned, using his hip to shut over the closet door to when he begun to strip off. His red jumper unravelled from his form and onto the white bed carpet, to which his toes curled against- comforting him dearly.

He pushed his arms through the new found cotton shirt, pulling his beaded head through the hole. He blinked, feeling a wave of nausea suddenly poke into his abdomen, as if milk was rushing up and swirling all of his insides into the wrong places. 

Eddie churned, pushing his soft white pants down in discomfort- revealing his black undies that he had decided to sleep in also. Dots blurred his vision, feeling the pastel cold wall hold him up to his feet somehow. 

His breathing heaved, with his palms becoming clammy and his kneecaps quivering, bucking against one another with small spasms. A strangled cry left Eddie’s mouth suddenly as he felt his stomach churn again, this time feeling a large immense pain surface up against his chest- slowly surfacing up to his throat.

Oh no.

With that, Eddie took his tin trash can in his inked fingertips pulling it towards his mouth as he hurled up what remained inside of him. Mucus dribbled out of the edges of his curled down lip edges, soaking the white paper balls that were crumpled up inside of the container. Tears leaked down Eddie’s still crimson cheeks from frustration due to the current situation, his fingers jittered as the tin metal twitched due to his touch. 

The vomit continued to pass its way through his caved mouth, rotting into the small trash can for a good ten minutes or so until Eddie’s insides were completely spilled before him. When Eddie managed to look at the mess that was now in his eyesight, he saw splatters of half disintegrated pink capsules that were forced down his hatch repeatedly, with splotches of milk like red goo.

Panic eradicated the small teen, audibly gulping at the messed up sight. “Fucking gross.” He hissed, his throat feeling sour.

Eddie then felt the stench of vomit swoon into his nostrils, causing the boy to gawp in disgust at his own insides. He held the metal bucket away from his body, opening his door up and rushing to the bathroom, quickly pouring the gunk into the toilet. He soon flushed it away, watching each capsule drown into the depths of the sewers beneath him. 

Eddie cringed, walking to the sink and checking at his face in the mirror. His appearance was not the best; it involved his eyes being sunken into his skull with his cheeks being blotched all over and his lips swollen from the days friction, chapped and peeling. His eyebrows were disorganised and the hairs poked out in different directions whilst eyelashes had fell over his skin.

His head shook in nothing but sheer disappointment, bending forward- using the cold water to splash his face in attempt to cool his heated skin and wash away the flaws down the drain and into oblivion.

Splatters and droplets clung to Eddie’s dry skin, refreshening the boy from his sudden spurt of sickness. Ripples of water flooded onto Eddie’s soft and timid hands as he coated them with soap in order to be hygienic after such a busy day. He just wanted to be cleansed.

The boy grabbed the towel, drying his hands and face off; without looking back in the mirror, he turned around and walked straight out of the bathroom and into his bedroom with the now washed trash can, placing it in the corner of his room as it was before. 

Eddie was about to turn off his light to climb into bed before letting out a shriek at what he saw at his window.

“Richie?” He mouthed to stay quiet, horror seething him from not realising it was him at first.

Richie meekly knocked on the window, clinging onto a tree for support. Eddie scoffed, rushing up and opening the door. 

“Why are you here? You know what my Mom is like- if she sees a guy in my room she’s gonna fucking-”

“I have nowhere to go, Eds.” Richie spoke with an unusually soft voice, his voice broken emotionally.

Eddie felt his mouth open to say something- nothing would come out. He simply opened the window wider, allowing Richie to climb inside clumsily. Eddie started to close the window when he noticed a few small dots of white icicles drop from the clouded sky; tomorrow was December 1st. 

Richie looked back at Eddie, watching the snow start to fall as he felt a pang of nostalgia caress his soul for a moment. But his thoughts were overpowered with the shadow of depression lurking over him. Eddie shut the window over, closing the curtains over and quickly running to his door, locking it with ease.

“Nice shirt.” Richie commented, breaking the ice that stiffened the air between them, “I remember that one.”

Eddie looked at Richie with confusion in his eyes, “Huh?”

“That shirt, I gave you it a few years back. It used to be huge on you.” Richie chuckled, running his fingers through his dewed hair.

Eddie glanced down at the shirt, the logo “Freese’s” written across it in bubble writing. “Dude I can barely remember.” Eddie whispered, pulling at the soft blue fabric.

“Neither did I until I saw it.” Richie trailed off, “it looks cuter on you anyway.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, blushing. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Tozier.”

Richie glanced at the boy, feeling the vulgar stench of barf fill his senses; Richie chose to ignore it however he was disgusted in every sense of the word. Something had happened in the short amount of time that Eddie had been out of Richie’s sight.

Then again, here was Richie with glass stuck in his fingertips.

It was then Eddie truly got a look at Richie’s appearance, noticing some blood over his hands and slices striking into his pale armour. Eddie couldn’t help but feel something more than pity for the boy, he too felt the sadness that radiated from Richie impulse into his own system.

“Look at you, fuck..” Eddie sighed, “Im gonna patch you up-”

“No, it’s fine. Really.” Richie grumbled, placing himself on Eddie’s narrow bed.

Eddie shook his head, determined on helping. “You have glass stuck in your skin, dumbass. I’m helping you.”

Eddie turned away, going under his bed before Richie and pulling out a first aid kit which involved the basic necessities that a first aid kit could possibly need. Of course Eddie Kaspbrak would have a medical kit, Richie thought with a smirk twinking at his lips.

“Something funny?” Eddie remarked without even looking up at Richie, pulling out a pair of tweezers in order to tease the shards of glass away and rip them from their new found roots.

“Yeah,” Richie hummed, “You have a fucking first aid kit.”

“I think everyone should have these medical supplies on hand, you never know what could happen. For example, in this instance we have a tall underweight boy who smokes too much with glass in his fingers and slashes across his face! Life works in mysterious ways, dear Richie.”

Richie pursed his thin lips together, watching Eddie pull out a single shard of glass carefully from his hand. He felt how warm Eddie’s hand felt to his cold touch, shuddering lightly.

“I’m gonna stop smoking, you know.” Richie started, “I dunno, I just felt the need to.”

Eddie looked up, his eyes glimmering with a new found emotion that Richie couldn’t put his finger on, it was something he hadn’t seem Eddie claim before and it was mysterious yet so beautiful to watch. His smile could cure broken hearts.

“You did? Oh fuck- Rich, thats amazing!” Eddie praised, his lips curling upwards, “Oh my god, shit, I’m so proud... Literally, I’m so fucking proud!” A squeal left the boys lips.

Richie watched how his freckles were connected in beautiful shapes, some more prominent than others. He watched how his eyes lit up as if they were soft stars twinkling on a dark winter night like the one that owned today. How his teeth shone through, showing how pure this child really was as he cared for Richie unlike anyone had done before.

No one had made Richie Tozier want to actually live, only Eddie had somehow captured his soul and captivated by every flaw and every attraction. As he was his carer, he was giving him a bed to sleep in and a roof to cover him other than being left to sleep in his shallow truck.

The night continued with Richie being cared for by Eddie in his old youth shirt, his eyes glimmering and coo’s leaving him out of excitement after hearing the news that the chainsmoker himself was going to stop his addiction. Bandages were placed again, this time being super-hero themed instead of teddy bears which only made Richie realise how innocent the boy he was falling for was.

Richie felt his heart swell with adoration as his free hand cupped Eddie’s cheek, caressing it and causing Eddie to stop for a second in confusion. Both of them stared into each others eyes, Eddie’s orbs flickering between those beautiful shallow eyes and those thin and battered lips.

Finally, Richie muttered the words that he managed to form with an embroidered love blossoming.

“Stay soft, Eds. It looks beautiful on you.”


	9. { Behind Closet Doors }

Eddie continued to tend Richie’s wounds throughout the night, with the windows steaming up from the heat inside the room in contrast to the freezing air outside. After Richie’s warming words, Eddie barely formed words for an hour or so and solely focused upon fixing Richie up despite Richie’s protests to his cuts stinging and how he was being covered in superman bandages, but Eddie just rolled his eyes and chose to ignore the boy and his ways.

Richie had his head against the wall as he sat on the perfectly white carpet beneath him, he stared directly at his fingertips with a warm feeling in his stomach.

“So, you’re staying here, right?” Eddie asked, his legs folded upon his neat bed after cleaning away the first aid kit.

Richie drifted his gaze to Eddie, “I don’t have too, I just had no where to go.”

“You can stay!” Eddie quickly spoke, his words overflowing, “It’s just that I was wondering and, well, my Mom would flip shit if she saw you- so.. so I’ll have to hide you. We also only have my Dad’s old clothes, my clothes won’t fit.”

Richie managed to form a lop sided grin, listening to each melodic sound that came from Eddie Kaspbrak. Everything about the boy was phenomenal, overall outstanding. From his neat hair, to his messy mindset. From his soft brown eyes, to the crevice of his lips. Richie was in awe of what standards this boy had to even look in Richie Tozier’s way, never mind welcome him with open arms into his living space.

“You’re a fucking angel, Eds.” Richie whispered thankfully, a genuine smile growing on his lips. “Seriously.”

Eddie too begun to smile, looking down shyly and mumbling, “Don’t call me Eds.”

“I will one day, but that day isn’t going to be today!” Richie hummed playfully, rolling his kneed to his chest, pulling himself together.

Eddie then stood up, going towards his closet and opening it up. His eyes scavenged between each item of clothing, his hands digging in the depths of the cloth until eventually he pulled out his fathers old clothes that he kept but never actually wore, some random checkered sweats and a shirt for Richie to sleep in. He held placed the clothing items on his bed, nodding at them for Richie.

“Are they big enough?”

“Yeah, let me get changed.” Richie stood up, scooping up the clothes and going to turn to leave.

Eddie quickly grasped his wrist, their eyes meeting as Eddie did this and stared. “Do it here, just incase you’re seen here.”

Richie nodded, slowly retracting his wrist. “Good thinking.”

Eddie nodded, sitting down on his bed- his fingers finding each other and fiddling at one another, Eddie averted his eyes to anywhere but at Richie. Richie started to strip himself off, his shirt peeling off his body- revealing his thin upper half- his shirt pulling his curls up and allowing them to collapse yet again after the shirt was dropped to the floor and away from his frame.

Eddie’s eyes sneakily wandered to the shirt that had dropped to the carpet, his eyes further running up Richie’s legs and to his chest. A gulp made its way into Eddie’s throat, allowing him to watch Richie’s face. The boy was too busy stripping away his jeans to even look at Eddie.

“Gosh, Eds. I know I’m irresistible but chill. You’re practically popping a boner.”

Eddie’s face flushed bright red, not realising that Richie could possibly still know if he was being stared at despite not looking back. He quickly checked his crotch area, thankfully there was nothing there that was sticking up.

“Shut up, asshole.” Eddie blushed, turning away and occupied his mind elsewhere.

Richie merely raised his lips in amusement, as he slowly but surely changed into Eddie Kaspbraks late father’s clothes. Something about him felt wrong for wearing these clothes, but he still carried on his actions. He eventually stood there in the perfectly fitted, chill clothes. Eddie sat there, unsure to even look or not after being caught last time; Richie found it adorable.

The taller boy walked over, sitting down next to Eddie in the rather cold room with their thighs touching and their elbows grazing. Eddie reluctantly leaned closer to Richie, Richie only wrapped his arm around Eddie comfortly as a thousand thoughts with zero words were passing between the two.

“Thanks for this, Eds.”

“No worries.”

Richie mentally huffed as to how the air had became awkward suddenly, not knowing what to say just incase he messed up. All he wanted to do was to make sexual innuendos at everything, since it was natural to him. Richie was awkward around others when trying to be romantic in general, he’d usually scare others off.

“So, nice weather we’re having.”

“Yep.”

Richie groaned lightly at the small talk that he pursued; his eyes rolling upwards with his thoughts swarming, he tried to refrain- but Eddie just seemed to be stuck inside of his brain. Eddie too felt just as awkward, feeling a rise of tension in the air. Both waited for the other to release the tension.

Richie suddenly felt an urge surface, a daring one to be exact. One in which he wouldn’t know if Eddie would be comfortable with or not.

“Hey, spaghetti boy?” Richie hummed in faux amusement, grasping Eddie.

“What-”

Before Eddie could speak, Richie’s lips were slammed against Eddie’s, startling the small boy who was mid sentence and certainly wasn’t expecting Richie to be so bold. Richie felt fingers intertwine into the dark thorns on his head, feeling Eddie tug at them slightly to get a response out of Richie; to which he did, a groan whispering into Eddie’s skin. Both Eddie and Richie were squashed skin to skin, both of their noses colliding together and rubbing- which pursued Richie to tilt his head to the left.

As much as Richie wanted to use his tongue into the kiss, he knew his boundaries and didn’t want to cross them with Eddie. The boy hated germs and he didn’t want a lecture on how many germs there were in a human mouth compared to a dogs.

So instead, Richie felt his lips trail down to the smooth sin which belonged to his chin which caused Eddie to shakily gasp at the air from the soft yet intimate touches from Richie’s lips to his skin; the boys head tilting back as more of Richie’s kisses were trailed down past his jaw and onto his neck. 

Eddie squeaked when he felt his sensitive skin being pulled by Richie’s kisses, a soft tingling sensation bubbling against his dermis. Richie pulled with his teeth delicately, leaving behind his mark onto the quivering boy below him.

The bliss between the two was electric and magnified all of their senses to the maximum. He was the tear in Richie’s heart, but the mold to bring it together at the same time.

Richie continued to leave soft purple tints all over Eddie’s skin, which Eddie only melted at each time with his orbs fluttered shut. It was as if every flaw that lingered in their lives were disintegrating away into nothing, just like all of the sadness they captured within their souls.

It was then Richie finally pulled away, a smug look on his lips. “Damn, am I a leech or Richie Tozier? Who knows.” 

Eddie’s eyes then widened, rushing up to go digging for the treasure within his drawers. He eventually pulled out a small compact mirror, gasping as his fingers were brought to touch the dark undertones. 

“You asshole! How am I supposed to cover these marks up?” Eddie hissed, turning around and glaring daggers at Richie.

Richie shrugged, “C’mon Eds, I was just-”

“No, no Richie you we’re ‘just’ doing anything, you marked me and now my Mom is gonna freak out if she sees! Everyone knows I don’t look good in turtle neck shirts!”

Richie sighed deeply, his eyes half lidded as he noticed Eddie’s anger with a blush rising to his cheeks. 

“Eds, I didn’t mean to fucking upset you. Get your tampon out of your ass! I was doing it because I lo-” 

Richie cut himself off, realising the words he was about to say as his blood ran cold and his heart pumped faster. His dark hues of brown were wide, not knowing exactly how to end his sentence due to his contradicting thoughts.

“You what?” Eddie pushed, folding his arms over his ‘Freese’s’ shirt.

Richie bit his lip, not knowing if it was too early or not. But he felt pressured to spit out his words nether the less. “Because I fucking love you, alright?”

Richie watched as Eddie’s face quickly softened and how he dissolved just at those simple words with a million thoughts behind them. Eddie’s arms fell to his sides and his swollen lips parted with his pupils dilating. However, Eddie remained oddly silent to Richie’s ears, causing panic to taint Richie’s mind.

What if he was going to kick me out? What if it was too soon? What if Eddie didn’t feel the same? 

All of Richie’s thoughts swarmed in madness, causing his heart to drop down to his stomach with his pulse reckoning louder and louder. Each thump signalling the immense anxiety that Eddie was giving to Richie.

Eddie then marched over, eyes puffed out with ecstasy; his feet carrying him to where Richie sat on his bed- him between his legs and pushing Richie onto his back.

Richie pouted in confusion, going to sit back up until Eddie pushed his fingers gently against Richie’s adams apple as it bobbed in nervousness. Eddie lingered over the laid down boy, still stood between his legs with his knees bucking into his thighs.

“About time.” Eddie breathed with a soft grin, his mood completely changing from the last time he spoke. “You big softie.”

Richie smirked with lop sided edges, a single eyebrow raised in amusement at the boys ways. “Would a big softie suck on your neck for fun? If anything, Eds- you’re the softie.”

Eddie felt a volt of mischievousness electrify his bloodstream. Feeling a smile grow to his lips and spread across his face.

“You’d be surprised what I can do if I love someone, Richie.” Eddie whispered, leaning closer and further down to where his hands were at either side of Richie’s head. “Because it seems to be that I’m not much of a softie.”

That was then, Richie was shocked as Eddie got his revenge and placed his bruises all over Richie’s neck and collarbone region and Richie had never felt better bruised.

~~~

The next morning rolled around, both Richie and Eddie entangled into each others arms, with Eddie’s legs between Richie’s. Richie’s drool imprinting itself onto Eddie’s pillow beneath his head, Eddie curled up in a fetal position.

“Eddie Kaspbrak!” A voice broke out, “Get up- why is the door locked?”

Eddie awoke almost immediately, his eyes wide in shock and realisation of the situation he was currently stuck in. 

Fuck! Eddie cursed in his thoughts, quickly pushing Richie awake- covering his mouth. This alarmed Richie, who begun to struggle, but as soon as he saw that the hand belonged to Eddie- he was comforted almost instantly at the sight of him. 

Sonia Kaspbrak’s abrupt thumping against the door alerted Richie of the situation instantly, without any words being spoken. Eddie was alarmed and quickly pointed to his closet urgently, his eyes speaking desperation.

Richie, frustrated, quickly jumped off the bed and onto his bare feet- collecting himself together as the boy was still half asleep, rushing towards the closet and thrusting himself inside to hide behind the different variations of clothes that belonged to Eddie. Both him and Eddie shared eye contact, before Eddie shut Richie off in darkness.

Richie quickly felt trapped and alone in the darkness, feeling the humidity of his breath hit the wood around him. He heard a click from outside of the wooden enclosure, Richie could only assume that Eddie had unlocked the door for his Mother to come in. Richie stayed silent and listened closely, his breath hitching.

“Why did you lock the door, sweetpea?”

“Because Mom- I need privacy when I sleep!”

“You’ve never locked it before-”

Richie could only wish that he could see the scene so he could image what was happening. He could practically feel the stiffening silence suffocate him.

“Mom, no- it’s not what you think!” Eddie’s voice became much more frantic

“You haven’t been taking the pills, have you? That’s why you have these!”

“No- no no!! Mom, please- I don’t wanna take them!”

“Oh gosh, we’re gonna need stronger medication if you keep acting like this! Who gave you these, huh? Who?”

“No one!”

Guilt washed over Richie and drowned him right then and there as realisation struck him and made him crumble. She had seen the hickeys. Specifically, the hickeys that Richie had given to Eddie. Richie’s back slid down the wood of the closet, feeling his mouth gape and tears in his eyes, his hands covering his face with his fingers printed across his skin.

“If only you weren’t whatever you call gay, you’ll be normal soon Eddie. Just take them!”

“No!” Eddie’s voice cried in desperation, “Mom get away!”

“It’s for your own good!” Sonia spat.

Richie could hear struggling come from the outside of his cage, before a thump rattling the floor as well as Eddie’s wild and croaked sobs.

“M-mom stop!!” Eddie’s voice cracks were unbelievable, “I’m sorry! I-I don’t want them!! I don’t want them!”

Eddie’s voice was distressed and his begs were falling upon deafened ears as echoing sobs rattling at Richie’s eardrums. Richie had to cover his mouth with one hand to keep himself silent, his knees pulled up to his chest with the help of his free hand to hold himself together.

If he even tried to rush out and help- he’d just make the situation worse. If Eddie wanted help, he’d call for it... right?

“You’re sick, Edward!” Sonia hissed, almost sounding as if she were struggling. “Fucking sick!”

“N-No! You are, you... you mental bitch!”

A piercing slap sound silenced the air, the connection of palm to skin shaking Richie down to the core and truly horrifying him. His fear increased for Eddie and his well being. The urge to go out there and help him was pulsing at Richie’s senses, but he pulled himself back each time.

Richie felt his fingers slide up into his hair, tugging on it as if somehow to comfort himself from such terror happening around him. Tears poured from his cheeks and onto the checkered pants that he wore- he heard Sonia speak up again and his blood turned livid.

“Thats a good boy, swallow them. Swallow. If you want to breathe just swallow, Edward!”

Dread pricked at Richie, knowing that she was not only forcing him to take them, but perhaps suffocating like last time. Sobs rippled the air from Eddie’s voice, damaging Richie eternally.

“Good boy...” Sonia cooed suddenly, “Good boy. Now, go get ready for school- yeah?”

Eddie didn’t respond to his wicked mother’s question, the air falling silent again until the sound of the door opening then squeaking shut quickly allowed Richie’s senses to become blown out. Richie kicked open the door to the closet, coming out of it and seeing a curled up and shattered Eddie on the floor with his back to Richie. 

Richie’s eyes softened, quickly going over to Eddie and pulling him up into his knelt form- feeling him crumble under him.

“I-I..I didn’t want to swallow them, Richie.”

“I know Eds, I-i know.” 

Richie swallowed thickly, feeling Eddie grip at his shirt and sob into it- the dampness connecting with his skin under the fabric and staining his shirt. Richie and Eddie both felt broken and leant upon one another. Richie soothingly rubbed his new found boyfriends back, hoping to comfort him as he forced his own tears back.

He didn’t want to look emotional in front of his already emotive boyfriend.

Eddie then glanced up at Richie, his once pure eyes now glassy and crumbling. His shoulders were heavy from stones and his fingertips curled in anticipation. 

He deserved the world, yet the world was against him.

Richie yet again, spotted another idea. An opportunity. A chance. A moment to make both of their lives better and to start new elsewhere. 

“Get dressed, Eds. We’re getting out of here.”

“I-I..I don’t want to go to school, Rich.” Eddie blubbered, sniffling.

“I don’t mean to school, I mean out of Derry.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, suddenly the tears came to a stop as if the faucet was blocked. Both Richie and Eddie stared at each other, Eddie silently questioning Richie. Richie merely nodded for confirmation.

“Now.”

Both boys threw whatever clothes that would fit, for Richie- he wore Eddie’s fathers clothing which was not his typical style at all however he was thrilled to finally run away with someone who was willing.

His plan was finally in ignition, nothing would possibly stand in their way if they left when others thought they’d be at school or elsewhere. It was perfect. Eddie packed a small duffel bag, containing a few clothing items and Eddie’s money jar that he kept under his bed for whenever he’d need it. 

As both were prepared, Richie opened the window to reveal the cold snowy morning- sending shivers throughout the room that they stood in. Eddie took one last final look around his room as he took in every memory that had taken place in this very room.

All of the memories with Bill, Stan and Ben all staying over- the memories from his childhood with Richie and times when Mike would come over to give advice. All of the times when his Mother would scream at him over his sexuality.

Eddie shut his eyes and shuddered, feeling overwhelmed from such memories.

“You okay Eds?” Richie asked gently, looking back at him.

Eddie re opened his eyes, his eyelashes thickly together before turning around and looking at Richie. “Yeah, lets go.”

Richie nodded, carefully climbing out of Eddie’s room and onto the tree trunk, managing to get himself down carefully as he got himself up last night. However, he appeared to struggle a little more than last night due to the snow making his fingertips feel less grip. He held the duffel bag that was too much for Eddie to climb down with, to which he had offered to hold it instead. He fixed the strap and glanced up at Eddie.

Eddie gulped, shakily grasping at the slippery bark and stepping onto one of the thicker branches, finally out of his cage. 

“C’mon Eds, you can drop if you want! I’ll catch you!” Richie whisper-screamed, his arms up.

Eddie glanced down at Richie, “You look like an idiot!”

“I prefer the term moron, but idiot works too!”

Eddie rolled his eyes, comforted by the sound of Richie’s voice in this anxious moment, Eddie dropped his foot onto a different branch, making himself down more safely without the help of dropping into Richie’s arms. When both of his feet settled into the bed of snow, he felt the weight from his chest lift.

“Atta’ boy!” Richie smirked, patting Eddie’s back excessively as he used his British accent. “Spit spot governor! Move yourself!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Stop trashing the trashmouth!” Richie protested, watching Eddie’s hand grasp his own and pull him along to the red truck that was parked by Eddie’s house.

Richie pulled out his keys, pressing a button to unlock each given door, allowing access. Eddie pulled his hand away, jumping into the passenger seat; watching Richie quickly climb into the drivers seat and throw the duffel bag into the backseats of the large truck. Both were feeling the adrenaline pump in their systems like oil to a machine as Richie quickly stepped down on the pedal and drove off down the road.

Eddie felt a smile widen on his face despite his stomach feeling full from the amount of pills in his stomach. He was surprised he hadn’t overdosed. He glanced at Richie; then at the open road before them. He was going to wait until they were a mile out before asking Richie to pull over so he could throw up his insides. 

Richie glanced to Eddie carefully, smiling sadly at the small bruises that were blotched all over his neck that Richie had given him out of love. It hurt however, when he glanced over to his bare wrist that stood out particularly by strong red fingerprint bruises imprinted onto his porcelain skin. Richie frowned, reaching out a single hand, with his other on the wheel, to hold his left hand in his right one for comfort.

Eddie smiled up at Richie, who was now looking at the road with his glasses sliding down his nose. Eddie poked one finger out to push them up for him which only widened both of their grins.

And with no words, they both drove off with heavy hearts.

~~~

Sonia Kaspbrak watched the red truck drive off into the distance with a glass of water in her hand, she begun to swirl it out of a nervous habit. Her hair stuck to her cheeks as she then moved away from the window and out into the hallway. She gulped down the remaining liquid inside of the glass before picking up the phone which was attached to the wall.

She dialled the number 911.


	10. { The Red Truck }

Both Richie and Eddie drove for what seemed like hours, both of their hands intertwined as they drove along the snow road- miles away from Derry, safe and sound. Both windows were down to let the cold breeze flow through and prick at their goosebumps. A small smile lingered upon Eddie’s small lips as he stared out at the small dots of snow lacing through the iced air.

Richie had one hand settled on the smooth leather of the wheel, the other next to him with his pinky finger intertwined with Eddie’s own pinky finger. Richie’s gaze striking at the road before him; his anxiety flaring due to how slippery the road was due to black ice.

“Fuck, I can’t believe that we’re actually doing this.” Eddie breathed out, his words tinting a fogged cloud before his blue lips, “Somehow I’m actually doing this stupid thing with you- fucking Richie Tozier.”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing, Spaghetti man!” Richie gasped, “I’m offended!”

Eddie rolled his eyes, his inked lashes twitching at his actions before settling upon Richie yet again. “You deserve to be offended, for once the trashmouth is being trashed.”

“That happens all the time!” Richie squeaked, with heavy sarcasm.

Eddie laughed softly, his elbow resting against the car’s arm rest with the fresh breeze awakening him from all of his disturbed thoughts; he finally felt free on the road with Richie. Despite barely having over 100 dollars to spend, he was free and that alone was worth more than what money could ever give. He could care less about any problem that was blistering inside of him, for example how he no longer had a roof over his head or that he didn’t manage to say goodbye to Stan, Mike, Ben or Bill. Bill. He also didn’t regain ties with Bill and apologise for how he acted. Eddie frowned at the thought, but quickly wiped it away when a snowflake dropped onto his nose.

Eddie blinked, moving his finger upwards and swiping away the defrosted crystal. He saw how the once formed flake now had shifted into water upon his heated fingertip. It was then Eddie ran his fingers through his undone hair, feeling more flakes defrost and melt that were settled upon his strands of hair and all because of his radiated touch. Eddie barely managed to even touch a snowflake and truly appreciate it, as a child he hated the thought of snow. It disgusted him that stuff such as yellow snow existed- which resulted in him staying out of the snow.

“How about New York then, Eds?” Richie softly sliced Eddie’s thoughts.

Eddie’s eyes flickered with an ember of light, turning his head back to Richie. “Are you sure we’d settle in there?”

“New York will just have to deal with the wrath of Tozier and Kaspbrak.” Richie mused, a smile glinting onto his lips. “They won’t know what’ll hit them.”

Eddie snickered slightly, his hand falling to his knee, his other still with Richie’s.

“When you put it like that, we sound like devils.”

“Correction Eds, I am a devil but you aren’t.” Richie teased, his eyebrows furrowed in a playful manner. “You’re too much of a goody-two-shoes for that sort.”

“I can be bad!” Eddie frowned, defending himself.

Richie’s eyebrows now raised and a smirk toyed at his lip curves. “Edward Kaspbrak and bad in the same sentence? That’d never happen.”

Eddie glared towards Richie, his eyes narrowed over with mischief. “Don’t underestimate me Richie, you’ll be surprised.”

“Woah-ho!!” Richie squealed, excitement bubbling within him. “I like that tone of voice, Eds.” His eyebrows now wiggled, showing a suggestive side to Richie.

Eddie faux gagged, lifting his index finger and pointing down his throat to signal to Richie that he was ‘disgusted’. Both Richie and Eddie then laughed, a genuine- careless laugh that truly cracked their voice box’s in harmony. Wrinkles creased their skin at the sides of their eye sockets as if the two were separated by a mirror, actions matching in sync as if they both reflected on one another.

Each snowflake that smothered Richie’s view was flicked away by the rather rusted window screen wipers. Richie casually ignored how his magnified lenses were sliding down upon his face, despite the lenses also being lathered in layers of fingerprints and dried droplets of some sort. Somehow Richie still managed to see clearly.

Eddie then slipped his pinkie finger away from Richie’s, fiddling and fixing his messed hair which was tainted by the droplets that sunk into his scalp. Eddie yawned aloud, slowly rolling up his window to feel his skin heat up once again. Richie too, rolled up his own in respect for his lover.

Richie glanced carefully at Eddie, noting how his lover sunk down into the leather seat and his eyelids melted together. Riche smiled softly, allowing the hum of the car to be the only sound.

Eddie felt lulled by the lullaby the car supplied for him, his fingers falling upon his lap and dangled effortlessly. 

It was soon then, that Eddie Kaspbrak felt himself tumble into a slumber.

~~~

Eddie felt himself awaken, seeing that he was back in the red truck. However, ever the word around him was much more faded and smoked. The soft static from the radio made Eddie’s awakening self cringe at the prickling sound, causing him to sit up. 

Eddie went to talk to Richie, only to see that Eddie was in fact alone in the car; Richie was gone. The truck door was wide open, the snow at the side of Richie’s car scraped away where he would’ve left. Nothing was left in the drivers seat at all, not even a small silhouette. 

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows and grumbled under his breath, the air feeling freezing around him and suffocating each pore. Eddie merely raised his pale palm, pushing open his side of the truck, feeling his feet collide with the scrunched snow under his feet.

Even though Eddie felt weightless, he still felt the towering weight of the tall trees stretching over him and his anxiety flaring because of it. A shaken trail of fog left Eddie’s parted lips as he looked at the truck, noticing that it was roughly parked in the middle of a forest- in other words, the middle of nowhere. No pathway would allow the truck to slip past, only adding to the trembling confusion that Eddie found swarming.

Eddie felt his footsteps carry him elsewhere, feeling as if he was in the eye of the storm. Panic swayed him back and forth, his steps irregular- he longed to search for Richie who was apparently missing. It was almost as if he didn’t exist in his world.

As if they were somehow separated.

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding the whole situation. His orbs averted upwards; watching the twigs hover over him in a menacing way, flickering with the wind that Eddie was unable to feel. Each crunch under his feet seemed to clatter at his own eardrums, causing his eyes to occasionally roll and fade into the distance. 

His own breaths became shallow and his heartbeat expanded throughout his body, the numbness overwhelming his mindset as he attempted to feel some connection to life in this dimension he felt trapped in.

Eddie didn’t want to feel trapped or alone.

That was when a sweep flew Eddie off his feet, right into the rooted stump of a glaring tree, causing a whimper to emit from Eddie’s tightening throat. The boy tried to scream out for Richie, but to no avail nothing was able to form. He couldn’t speak. It felt as if someone was wrapping their fingers around his throat and crushing his voice box and draining him drip by drip. Second by second. 

Tainted oxygen suffocated Eddie in small steps, he felt himself shrink against the scratched bark; in a way to protect himself. He needed Richie, he wanted Richie because right now Eddie was terrified to even inch one of his muscles incase he spasmed with a panic attack.

It was almost as if he wished that he didn’t leave Richie’s truck and looked for the lankier boy, but he snapped his selfish thoughts away with the tears that leaked onto his splotchy cheeks and drowned out his own needs.

E d s...

Eddie felt his eyes miosis, his forehead crinkling up and his fingernails cracking between the crumbled ice beneath him as the demonic voice whispered through the waves of wind. The pills were starting to give him nightmares again.

W h e r e d i d y o u g o ?

Eddie choked, a strangled sob leaving through his snotting nostrils as his head smacked back into the woodland behind him the diabolic voice started to shake the ground beneath him and surely become more violent with each word being spat louder.

W h y d i d y o u l e a v e ?

Eddie’s fingertips covered his eyes, dragging his skin down with him. Everything was skinning away and floating off from Eddie and into oblivion. The static from the car radio seemed to deafen Eddie as it caused an excruciating pain, sending volts towards Eddie’s templates.

C o m e h o m e...

~~~

“Richie!” Eddie suddenly wheezed, his full body awakening almost instantaneously. 

“Sleeping beauty has finally-”

“Stop the car.” Eddie wheezed, gripping at the edge of his seat as fear flared throughout him.

Eddie was thankful he was awake now and able to know that Richie was safe and sound. A shaken breath trembled from his shattered form, watching Richie pull over in a panic. 

“Eds, what the fuck? Are you alright? Do you need to piss? I mean if you wanna give head I can drive and-”

“No I don’t want to give you head, trashmouth!” Eddie croaked, his fist now tightening and his other clutching his shirt in angst. “I..”

“Shit, sorry Eds. T’was just trying to lighten up the mood. Uh- whats wrong?”

Eddie felt his chest tighten, quickly reaching his hand out and grabbing Richie’s and tugging it away from the steering wheel. Richie widened his eyes for a second, his pupils dilating as well as Eddie’s which distended.

“I-..I’m not sure if we should be doing this, I-I mean fuck Richie! Fuck! We’re 17 and running off to New York with nothing but 100 dollars, we’re going to fucking die! The whole town is probably searching for us, and my Mom is going to freak out! Richie, I’m freaking out! This was nothing but a dream, we didn’t t-think it through!” Eddie was a spluttering mess, gripping Richie’s hand tighter. “I’m so fucking scared, Richie we need to go- to go home! Be with our families and... and be safe! We’re still kids!”

“Eds-”

“No Richie, let me fucking talk!” Eddie’s voice cracked abruptly, a shattered hack rolled past Eddie’s lips. “I’m having a fucking panic attack, I’m terrified to leave Derry. I grew up there, I have friends there... I didn’t get to say g-goodbye!” 

Richie listened, feeling himself be the sponge to Eddie’s words as he soaked up everything- not retreating his hand when he felt it being crushed by Eddie but instead running his thumb over his petal like skin.

“I don’t think I c-can do this Rich, fuck- I’m petrified.” Eddie finally shut down, his tears brimming his waterline and clotting his eyelashes.

Richie’s eyes remained soft, his free hand trailing up Eddie’s skin and flicking away a single stray droplet that spilled from Eddie’s doll eye. 

“Listen, Eds. I’m scared too alright? I don’t want to leave behind Bev, I never got to say goodbye but fuck- our parents are fucking awful bastards and you know it. If you stay with that bitch any longer then she will kill you, a roof over your head isn’t worth that.” Richie whispered, for once not cracking an inappropriate joke, “I’d love you through poverty Eds, without a doubt.”

Eddie finally mustered up the courage to urge the words out of his mouth. “I-I love you too, idiot. But...”

“No but’s.” Richie cut him off in a polite way, “You just admitted your love, Kaspbrak.”

Eddie felt his already smudged skin burn bright with a vibrant pink, causing him to scoff; yet say nothing. Richie winked at Eddie to try and brighten his aura.

“C’mon Eds, cheer up. You know what your Mom is like and you know what my parents are like, you can’t stay at my place and I can’t stay at yours, we’re both fucking homeless enough as it is. We may as well make the most out of it. I’m not letting you go back there to die, because I fucking care- okay? I care so much and hearing you be tortured to take those fucking godforsaken pills scarred me, I wanted to protect you but I knew if I did anything I’d make the situation shittier.”

Eddie was silent, processing his conflicted thoughts with his lip trembling in tragedy. 

“I’m not forcing you to do anything though, Eds.” Richie reminded him, “I’m just showing you that we can get through this if we have each other- as corny as that fucking sounds.”

Eddie then stared into Richie’s eyes with delicate burning orbs, snow staring to build up on the windows as the window screen wipers were shut off. He edged closer on his seat towards Richie, bringing his lover’s hand up to his lips, kissing his damaged knuckles softly.

“I know, Rich.”

“I just don’t want to lose you, Eds.” Richie breathed, his confession inking the air, watching Eddie intimately.

The two boys slowly begun to calm down from the dramatic scenario Eddie had awoken, both eyes staring with a soft enchanting gaze that melted each others content souls.

“I know, Rich.” Eddie repeated with a twang of humour slipping into his voice.

It was amazing as to how quick Richie had managed to lull Eddie with his words, without needing his faux inhaler or any time of fucked up medication for him to dose on. Richie was his cure, his wave of fresh air in the polluted world that surrounded him. 

He felt free.

Eddie’s eyes suddenly dilated with an unknown emotion behind them; to Eddie he didn’t understand what had been flicked inside of him. But the moment was perfect, especially with the night outside being silent despite the blizzard swirling throughout the eerie evening. Everything was captured with such youthful bliss that it almost felt like this was one of Eddie’s more kinder dreams.

He felt loved.

It was in that moment where Eddie let loose of all of his anxious thoughts that stung the backside of his brain; he felt himself crawl over the gear stick carefully and settle into his boyfriend’s lap with an enraptured gaze, causing Richie to almost go in shock for a moment.

“Eds-”

“No Rich, it’s fine.” Eddie numbly confirmed, his fingertips crawling into Richie’s curls and lightly tugging on the roots to make Richie hum. “Is it fine for you?”

“I think you know the answer to that, wheezy.”

“Don’t call me that!” Eddie huffed, pulling Richie’s face to his.

“Alright, Spaghetti Man.” Richie teased lightly with a lip biting smirk, pushing his nose up against Eddie’s with their eyes locking in place.

Eddie could barely believe what he had gotten himself into as he wasn’t like this. At all. Sexual transmitted diseases were one of his biggest fears, after all. Not to mention the boy didn’t know an awful lot about gay sex in general apart from how the penis went into the butt. But if Eddie was free, he may as well let loose in more ways than one. 

Eddie leant back against the wheel, a smile playing with his lips. Suddenly, both of their looks were disintegrated when Eddie’s elbow knocked against the horn of the car- causing a shriek to crack their lips apart; both boys butting heads.

Richie and Eddie groaned, their hands coming together with their foreheads- packing a soothing rub to the already blood rushing skin. Eddie was about to apologise, but was too cut off again by another sound.

Richie laughed whole-heartedly, his head tilted back to show off his neck full of hickeys and his adams apple dancing inside of his throat; a look of pure joy overwhelming his face, as well as Eddies.

“You’re such a fucking klutz.”

“Shut the fuck up, trashmouth. Show me what that mouth can do.” Eddie suggested.

Richie visibly cringed.

“Gosh, don’t ever try and talk dirty again Eds.” Richie teased, his hands settled upon Eddie’s hips. “You need some practice.”

“Show me how it’s done then.” Eddie hummed, a crimson blush of shame poking through his skin.

Richie felt heat rush elsewhere, a wild smile spreading across his lips. The taller boy then quickly reached under his seat, pulling a lever to make his seat snap straight so that Richie could lay down much easier- to which he did. Not only did Richie flick a lever, he also brought out a crinkled square packet that held a rubber ring inside.

“Do not tell me that you, Richie, came fucking prepared.”

“Hey-ho, you never fucking know!” Richie defended himself, pushing his glasses up. “Besides, I know that you want to be safe so I considered this.”

Eddie smiled, rolling his eyes as he straddled Richie. “I fucking love you.”

“And I love you Eds, now come on. Hop on.”

It was now Eddie’s time to cringe, but he knew that Richie was introducing humour into their first time to make Eddie more comfortable in such a big moment for him. After all, he was about to lose his virginity to another male despite his haunted fears.

It was then, Eddie collided his lips to Richie’s.

~~~

Eddie cringed the next morning, a foggy siren blaring in the background. But in this moment he was barely awake as it was; the boy was too busy remembering how intimate last night was and how much he shocked himself. His right hand intertwined with Richie’s left, their fingers holding each other with Eddie collapsed onto Richie’s bare skin.

Eddie’s free fingers trailed over Richie’s skin, treasuring how soft he really was despite how rough he was to the core and how damaged he really could be. Eddie smiled to himself and stared at the peaceful heavy sleeper himself.

The sirens blared much closer this time, causing Eddie to feel muddled and slightly bothered due to how early it was. The sun was barely in the sky and the police were blaring alarms. Just great.

Eddie sat up, despite the small twinge of pain that sewed into the knot in his stomach and stared out of the back window past the trucks space, trying to squint past the humid windows with many hand sliding imprints on them. Eddie again, used his hand to wipe away some of the humidity’s fog. It was then revealed that he could see many faded red and blue lights vibrantly pulsing.

Eddie’s heart fell down and only twisted the knot further.

“Fuck, fuck- Rich, Richie you fucking dick, get up.”

Richie grumbled, his eyes slitting open, the dark beads gazing up at Eddie sleepily, he was about to protest at Eddie for waking up until Eddie squeaked in pure fear.

“The cops, fuck- my Mom, we need to go. We need to go!” Eddie wheezed, grabbing Richie’s shirt and throwing it at him in a panic. “Get fucking dressed, we need to go!”

“Alright- shit!” Richie grumbled, “Get the truck started, my keys are on the dash.” Richie pulled his shirt over his head, grabbing his undergarments and his jeans- messily stuffing his legs inside both of them.

Eddie nodded, barely dressed himself but quickly started up the rundown truck as quickly as possible with the keys shaking in between his grip, nausea tingling at all of his senses.

“Fuck, fuck move-” Richie barely had his jeans fastened, but he squeezed past Eddie and somehow managed to fit into the drivers seat even with the chair laid down, also being very much so dangerous.

“Drive Rich! Just drive!” Eddie squealed, his hands gripping the dashboard with anticipation.

So Richie did, he stepped on the gas and the dark blood truck raced off and skidded against the ice beneath. Eddie almost vomited right then and there, his face practically green and drained. 

Richie occasionally glanced into the car wing mirrors despite his side having them smashed, he saw not one- but three cop cars chasing after his beaten up vehicle and they were all most likely armed with whatever weapon they could use.

“Shit, shit fuck!” Richie breathed, “Why the fuck are they chasing us? What the fuck did we do?!”

“We ran away, douchebag! My Mom probably called the cops or the cops just came looking for us, but shit-” Eddie begun to sob hysterically, gripping onto whatever his hands could find.

Richie glanced down frantically, his free hand gripping Eddie’s for support of his lover. “We’re going to be fine, stop fucking panicking!”

“Shut the fuck up, Tozier! Gosh, you don’t know shit! We’re in so much trouble, we’re going to die!” Eddie weeped, but allowed his hand to be held.

Richie rolled his eyes as he focused on not skidding any further to the point in which they would be in danger due to the slippery surface the truck rowed upon.

Richie glanced again in the side view mirrors, sucking in his bottom lip. They were getting closer, as if it was taunting him.

“Bastard.” Richie mumbled, his demons beckoning beneath the surface.

Eddie’s eyes were wide, his lips parted and his teeth clenched together with his eyes staring ahead and no where else. The boy almost felt paralysed from the terror that reckoned and pulsed within him.

“We’re gonna fucking d-”

“Shut the fuck up, Eddie! Jesus fucking christ- you’re making this situation worse!” Richie snapped, “We aren’t gonna die, stop encouraging it you asshole!”

Eddie felt damaged by Richie’s commented, but knew it came from a place of stress in this current situation. Both boys had just spent the most intimate moment of their lives with each other and now they were ripped back into the cruel reality without any warning whatsoever. Eddie finally glanced away from the road, everything trembling with soft spasms- tears falling onto his bare lap and trickling down his thighs and onto the leather. 

“This is so shit.” Richie cussed, staring at the mirror to see the police’s whereabouts. “I’m sor-”

In that split second, Eddie looked up and saw a cop car coming straight at them from the opposite end of the road. The feet between the two vehicles was closing in at a rapid pace.

“Richie!” Eddie croaked, “Look out!”

Richie then glanced up, only to feel his muscles stiffen and all of his senses go wild. The boy did what seemed to be the only option, he swivelled out of control on top of the iced concrete. 

The truck unravelled itself off the road, making its way down a rather abrupt hill- tossing and turning and rattling into the sharp edges of the cliff.

“Ri-”

Richie turned to look over to Eddie, his hand still in his own with their fingers intertwined and grasping as if they were both the last thing that they wanted to hold onto. Everything started to crash down in that moment as Richie watched Eddie be ripped away. Eddie’s head slammed down onto the dashboard with his right arm snap out of its socked, forced backwards as he watched each of his bones separate and rub at all of his nerves. From what Richie could tell, his arm was snapped into all of its disorganised sockets, pulled in the wrong placed and bent at different diagonals. 

It knocked Richie sick.

Richie’s head slowly moved forward, inching closer and closer towards the steering wheel as both boys were soaring towards the ground, with the right hand side of the truck flying towards the ground. In other words, Eddie’s side. 

Eddie’s head was flung backwards into the head protection, showing blood leaking down from Eddie’s face. Richie could barely tell which part of the face was spilling due to so much blood. 

A single tear wretched from Richie’s squinted eyes; the last thing he saw was the haunting shot of Eddie Kaspbrak before a large surfaced pain blacked out Richie entirely.


	11. { The Losers Club Reunited }

Everything was hazed, Richie felt distant as ever; almost as if his own soul was lingering outside of his skin. His skin was pricked by cold sensations, with his heart beat flickering in his ears.

Where was he?

His eyes almost felt as if someone was holding them shut, everything aching all over his body and he felt his blood strike though his veins icily. Something was terribly wrong, not to mention the sense of dread that pierced his core.

“Oh look who’s finally waking up.” An unknown voice murmured to him with a sweet tone. “Go tell the Doctor, Ruby- tell him he doesn’t need to worry.”

The sound of shoes clicking against tiled floor echoed, moving away from the room he could only assume he was in. That was then Richie finally managed to split his eye open, his right eye remaining clamped shut by an unknown force. Richie visibly cringed at the bright lights blaring down onto his form.

“Oh, sorry Richard- I didn’t realise you were waking up so soon.”

Richie turned his head slightly, seeing a young Nurse stroll over to the lights, dimming them as best as she could.

“Hope that’s better for ya’. You gave us quite a fright, thought you weren’t gonna wake up.”

The woman had short blonde curls that tickled her shoulders, drooped yet large blue eyes full of exhaustion and a small pinched nose which matched her lips. The woman almost looked like a effortlessly beautified doll with tragedy sinking into her pit. Her smile was faded into her pale skin, walking over and staring down at Richie.

“I’m gonna ask you a few questions, that sound good kiddo?” The polite lady questioned, a clipboard in her grip.

Richie was still in pure confusion over his current well being and situation, but nodded as if he were in a trance.

“What month and year are you in?”

Richie coughed, trying to clear the dryness out of his throat and felt himself struggling to even muster a word from his lips. The lady noticed this, raising an eyebrow and walking to the sink in the corner of the room. She grabbed a white plastic cup, filling it with the liquid before walking pack. Richie went to lift his hand, but only felt numbness and completely stayed still.

The cup was brought to his lips carefully, the water dripping and clenching his tastebuds with a soft welcoming. Finally once Richie swallowed, everything was more clear.

“Uh.. December?” Richie croaked, his voice hoarse and battered, “And... 1994.”

“Correct!” The woman smiled, ticking a few boxes and scribbling down a sentance or two. “Now, what’s the last thing you remember?”

Richie thought hard- still in a daze from being asleep for who knows how long. He could barely remember what he had done last. But the words came naturally too him.

“Well, to be honest I remember uh...” His mind thought back to that night in his truck, thew windows fogged and utter bliss being provided to him, innapropriate comments and soft tender jokes being given from Richie to... “Eddie.”

Richie’s eyes widened as the word passed through his mouth, soon all of the events came back to him in tidal waves and his brain being plummeted with new sets of information. He was in a fucking car crash with Eddie next to him. Eddie was most likely in a similar situation right now, but he wasn’t with Richie.

“Eddie! Eddie, f-fuck, where is he? Where is he?!” Richie started to panic, the heart rate monitor that was attached to him starting to become rapidly uneven.

The Nurse eyes started to widen, “Richard, please contain yourself!” She quickly rushed to the teen boy, almost frantic. “I was supposed to tell you the news of your other friend but someone else that’s in the waiting room said that they’d do it instead.”

“I need to see him, I don’t want a fucking explanation!” Richie snapped, his right eye still not being able to open. “I-..I’m fucking..” Richie then muttered his words, barely knowing what he himself was saying as everything turned into a slur.

Richie pulled up the think blanket that laid over his figure, going to stand up and search for Eddie; this caused the slender nurse to panic. 

“Oh gosh,” She ran to the door, opening and screaming. “Get the shot, get the shot!”

Richie’s eyes narrowed in confusion and slight anger at the thought of these strangers trying to separate both him and Eddie. His fingers pushed against the mattress beneath him, tangling into the sheets to push himself up and onto his feet. Richie could barely turn his head until he was forced back down onto his back, his eye widening and feeling the Nurse’s hands on his shoulders. Soon, footsteps came trotting into the small space and frantically moved around him.

Richie could barely pay attention to what was happening around him due to his head falling limp from such sudden movement.

It was then a doctor appeared in front of him, an elongated needle with a fluid located within it nearing him.

“You’ll be okay Richard.” The doctor said softly.

The prick of the needle was pushed into Richie’s skin, causing him to wince at the sudden pain and the feel of the unknown liquid now pulsing throughout him. A strong distaste lingered on Richie’s tastebuds, before he reluctantly felt his body shut down. With one eye shutting, Richie Tozier was sent into a slumber.

~~~

Richie felt his eye unstick, his eyelashes peeling away from each other as if glue held them together. His body was finally awaken from whatever substance the doctor had gave him in order for him to be put to sleep.

“You’re awake.”

Richie furrowed a single brow at the sudden soft voice that had sliced through the air, his head merely turned to get a look at who was talking. The familiar sight of the 5′6 girl with short ginger waves and those same jade green eyes that had plenty of dark circles that covered the skin under them.

“Bev-”

“Don’t talk, you fucking dumbass.” Bev stood up, walking over to Richie and delicately wrapping her arms around him, like a mother would with her child. ”What the fuck were you thinking?”

Richie’s head fell into the crook of Bev’s neck, attempting to hug back despite feeling tingling sensations of numbness. 

“What do you mean?” Richie croaked, his voice dry and hoarse.

Beverly shook her head, moving out of the hug and sitting on the edge of Richie’s bed, staring at him with sad eyes. “You could’ve died- you prick. You don’t even realise what that accident has done to you, do you? If you don’t care about you well being, then your reputation isn’t any better.”

“What do you mean?” Richie repeated, his words becoming more strong with curiosity. 

“Fuck! Look at yourself Rich.” Beverly whipped out her pocket mirror, opening up and placing it in front of Richie’s own face.

What Richie saw staring back at him was worrying and made his stomach turn into a dark pit, with knots tightening and volts snapping through him. Underneath his new glasses a large bandage covered the right side of his face, particularly his eye, stitches lingered over his lip from where a large slice had split his skin on his lip, as well as small stitches lingering elsewhere on his body. Not to mention the cast that was covering Richie’s nose, signalling to him immediately that his nose was broken.

“You also were sliced open by some glass on your waist.” Bev sighed, a frown upon her lips. “You almost bled out.”

Richie felt shaken, but felt a sense of dread when Bev pulled away the pocket mirror. His eyes wandered down to hands, to which he saw two of his fingers on his right hand broken, casted together. It was then he looked to his side, noticing that his shirt was risen lightly to reveal a large white patch that covered his side.

“Well, I’m fucking dandy; it’s hard to get rid of someone as strong as me, you know?” Richie’s voice was barely audible, after all, this was a lot of information for him to take in at once. “I’m confused, shouldn’t I be dead if I almost lost most of my blood?”

Now a smirk had broken onto Bev’s lips, she pulled up her sleeve and showed a bandaid that stuck to her freckles. “I guess a part of me will always be with you, like it or not Rich.”

Richie’s heart swelled, a blink slowly coveting his orbs with a sense of shock fluttering through his system and giving the boy goosebumps. His pupils dilated and his eyes stared at the baby blue strip that was on Beverly’s arm.

“You- holy shit Bev!” Richie croaked, looking up to her, “You fucking... you’re gonna give me aids!” Richie attempted to shed some light to the situation, despite him starting to comprehend that he could’ve died so easily if it wasn’t for Beverly.

“Shut up Tozier, you just need to pay me back sometime. Especially after you tried to run away without saying goodbye or even taking me with you!”

Richie flinched, attempting to sit up a bit to get a clear view of his best friend. “I wanted to say goodbye or take you but... It was an awkward time and we kinda needed to go then.” 

Bev huffed, rolling her eyes but a small warmed at her lips. “I was just kiddin’, I’m just happy you’re alive- trash mouth.” 

“Thanks to you, I am!” Richie chuckled, his smile wide despite the pain in his lip from the fresh stitches. “You’re a fucking angel, holy shit. How long have you been here? You look like shit.”

“Since you got here.” She breathed, his eyes soft and looking down at Richie, “Your parents came once.”

“Yeah, to pay the medical bills?” Richie scoffed at the thought, already knowing his question was the truth.

Bev stayed silent, not wanting to speak of anything as the only answer to his question would possibly break his heart further.

Her silence was a big enough answer for Richie, so he changed the subject subtly. “So, how long have I been here?”

“It’ll be a week tomorrow. You were asleep for 5 days and the doctors but you asleep so you wouldn’t move too much and reopen your stitches because you were gonna get up or somethin’.” Beverly sighed, “I was worried Rich.”

Richie averted his eyes to the bedside table where a bouquet of flowers were stood up in a small glass along with one single ‘Get Well Soon!’ card. Richie could only assume they were both from Beverly.

“Well you don’t need to be anymore.” Richie alerted her softly, a smirk rising one corner of his lip. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“It almost was that easy.” Bev sniffled, letting a slip of her covered emotions through her facade. “I was so fucking worried- do you realise what it was like to just have your boyfriend tell you that Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier had fell 20 or 30 something feet off a cliff and a fucking truck? I had to stop everything and rush over to this damn hospital as quick as possible because I knew no one else would!” Bev’s voice was getting more hoarse by each trembling word. “I was so fucking scared, Richie.”

Richie frowned, placing his undamaged hand upon Beverly’s in a comforting gesture. His eyes stared into hers and he remained silent until something struck inside of him again.

If he was in a condition such as this, then what was Eddie like? 

If he needed blood to be donated to him, then what would Eddie need?

If Richie was hurt despite being cushioned by Eddie, then what was Eddie like not being cushioned?

“Bev, where the fuck is Eds?” Richie started to panic, sitting up abruptly with his eyebrows knitted together.

“Richi-”

“Bev, I need you to tell me where he is, is he okay?”

“Richie! You need to stay in bed! Your stitches-”

“I won’t fucking rest until I know he’s okay, dammit!” Richie hissed, throwing the sheet that laid on top of him elsewhere.

Beverly felt something flicker inside of her, almost dread as she didn’t want to break the news to Richie but she knew that he had to know- but this wasn’t the best way. He couldn’t find out like this.

But to no avail, Richie thrusted himself onto his feet and begun to sway himself towards the door despite still being drugged up.

“Richie!” Bev squeaked, following him.

Richie ignored Beverly and swung the hospital door open, only to find himself rushing down the hall and looking inside every room through their windows to see if any of them held Eddie Kaspbrak inside of them.

“Richie stop it! You’ll open your stitches!”

“They can be re-stitched.” Richie hissed silently as the white walls seemed to close in around him, his feet marching further. 

Richie’s eyes snapped towards a clock on the wall, seeing how it read 11:39PM, that was probably why barely any nurses or doctors were surveying the halls. 

With each step, Richie found himself to fall weaker yet his heart felt more determined to find his lover in whatever state he appeared to be in. He had to be alive, he had to. Eddie being dead wasn’t an option in Richie’s eyes, even though the possibility was very high of this being the outcome.

Richie started to near a corner, but in this corner revealed many familiar faces and many seats; it was some sort of waiting room. The faces were in fact Bill Denbrough, Mike Hanlon, Ben Hanscom and Stanley Uris. But they weren’t here for him.

Bev caught up with Richie, gripping his wrist delicately. “Richie, come on- you can see him another time!”

“No!” Richie hissed, snapping his wrist away.

All four of the familiar faces stared at Richie with mixed emotions. Some more sad, some more angry.

“H..How dare y-you have the audacity to.. to f-fucking show up o-over here.” Bill spat, his eyes red and blotched, his bottom lip from possibly crying. “L-listen to her, guh..g-go.”

Richie glanced over him, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I..If you hadn’t fucking t-took Eddie away then maybe he’d b-be okay, but no. You f-fucked everything! You fucked over m-my best.. best friend!”

“Bill!” Beverly gasped, in shock at her boyfriends sudden tone. 

Bill wasn’t acting like himself, most likely from the amount of stress that weighed him down; even the lack of sleep the he most likely was suffering from. It was obvious from how he jittered from being dosed on caffeine and how his eyes were heavy.

“What else, you..y-you’re gonna take my g-girlfriend too?” 

“Don’t be stupid, Bill!” Bev snapped, dropping her fingers from Richie’s slender wrist. “Don’t blame Richie for what happened! That’s unfair!”

“No, what’s unfair is that none of got to say goodbye to him, Beverly!” Stanley spoke up this time, his eyes narrowed at the girl before turning to Richie and glaring. “I bet you got to say your goodbye, didn’t you?”

“What?” Richie asked in pure confusion, the worst thoughts of all of the possibilities coming to mind.

Ben frowned, looking at his lap before looking up at Richie- to who he had no bad blood with. “Don’t you know?”

Richie glanced around at all of the old losers club faces, the tension rising in the air and thickening by each passing second, silence settled in and so did the realisation that Richie hadn’t yet found out what had happened to Eddie.

“Oh, this is great.” Stanley sarcastically muttered, sliding deeper into his chair.

“What?” Richie repeated, more emphasis on his single word as his single eye darted around. “Fucking tell me!”

The boys all looked between each other, wondering which one would it be to break the news. Mike was about to speak up, feeling as if he was in the best mindset to actually tell Richie- but instead he was cut off on his words by Bill.

“H..He’s in a cuh-coma..” Bill told Richie, his eyes still hard as he glared at Richie, “A-and unlike you.. he h-hasn’t woken up. E-even if he were t-..to wake up, y..you’ve disfigured him beyond r-ruh..repair!”

Richie’s eyes fell to his bare feet, feeling devoid as the reality hit him. Eddie did get it much worse, even more life threatening and probably so much worse that he didn’t know about. Everything had begun to crumble at Richie’s feet right then and there, his world was taken away. Guilt was absorbed into Richie’s heart, causing it to swell due to the overwhelming sensation.

“I-its a-all your fucking f-uh...f-fault!” Bill stuttered angrily, standing to his feet and glaring at Richie with his stutter gradually getting worse, “I-i mean c-cuh-come on Richie! L-look around, w..we’re all here for E-eddie, but who is here for you?”

Richie’s eyes darkened, narrowing, before glaring up at Bill.

“N-no one! Why? B-because n.. no one gives a shit Richie! N-not even your fuh..fucking parents!” Bill shook his head, anger seething with him with the mixture of exhaustion, “Y..you’re a l..lost fucking cause.”

“Bill! That’s enough!” Bev screeched, standing between the two boys and staring at her boyfriend, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Bill simply ignored Beverly as if she weren’t there, glaring at Richie and prodding his finger at the air with each venomous word that spat out of his mouth. 

“N-no wonder e-..everyone s-stopped b..being friends w-with you.. t-the second E-Eddie h-has you b..uh..back in his life you f-fucking… a-almost kill him- y..you’re an infection!" Bill was in hysterics, his eyes almost teary, “A wuh..walking infection!”

“Shut up!” Richie growled, inching his feet closer to the lanky boy before him. “Shut the fuck up!”

Stanley stood up, glancing back at his two other friends with wide eyes. They all knew that this situation wasn’t going in a good direction. Especially with Bill being dosed up on caffeine whilst being exhausted at the same time, 70+ hours without sleep was messing him up as it was- nevermind Richie coming into the picture who was in fact the reason for Eddie’s situation.

After all, it was Richie who suggested to run away. If he hadn’t made the suggestion, him and Eddie would be safe and sound.

“Y..You f..fucking destroy e-everything y..y-you touch!” 

Bill had finally erupted, the anger of his best friend being taken away to a near death situation exploding. Bill raised a clenched fist, the wired blue veins popping out upon the surface of his wrist, just about to swing towards Richie. 

Beverly’s eyes widened, quickly moving close to Bill with both of her hands settled upon his chest in attempt to push him away from hurting her friend. It was then in that moment that Bill had swung his fist elsewhere.

Everyone seemed to have froze in that second that Bill’s hand slipped upon Beverly’s cheek, his knuckles shaking and her body stiffening up. Bill’s eyes snapped to his fist, quickly allowing his fingers to unravel in shock and disgust with himself. Beverly on the other hand could barely move, her fingers managed to dance to her cheek where she had been hit by her significant other. It took her back to her home life, striking her down and terrifying her in that moment.

Richie on the other hand was furious. He couldn’t care about his own conditions or even if he were to split his stitches and bleed out right then and there. Bill had fucking hit Beverly; he had crossed a line and all respect Richie had for Bill as Beverly’s partner had disintegrated right then and there.

No one hits Bev,

“You fucking bastard!” Richie roared, launching himself forward in an act of protectiveness.

“Shit!” Mike cussed, reaching forward and taking Richie back. “Ben- fucking help me drag him to his room!”

Ben nodded, his eyes wide at the situation; his eyes glancing to Beverly to see if she was okay. She wasn’t. Ben whimpered mentally and too lunged forward and grabbed Richie who was freaking out.

Stan rushed over to Bill, just incase he wanted to swing another fist in any direction, standing in front of him and hands on his shoulders.

“B-bevvie I’m so sor-”

“Don’t call me Bevvie.” Beverly hissed, tears washing at her waterline and threatening to spill.

Bill again felt a pang of guilt strike him, as if someone stabbed him and turned the knife over and over again.

“Get the fuck away from her!” Richie screamed, alarming nurses to start to rush over.

“Bev I-” Bill trembled, only to be cut off again.

“No no, I..I’m gonna get myself together.” Beverly whispered, glancing at Richie before rushing off down the corridor towards the nearest bathroom.

On the other hand, Mike and Ben were struggling immensely to pull an angry Richie away from the violent situation despite Bill standing there with immense guilt. Slurs of cusses poured out of Richie’s trash mouth, his face burning bright red with his glasses slipping down his cast from violently thrashing himself in the grip of someones hands. 

The nurses closed in, about to stab a needle into Richie yet again in order to put him to sleep but Mike grunted out his words just in time.

“N-no, it’s fine. We’ve got it, thanks though!” Mike managed to grab one of Richie’s wrists, pulling it back to prevent him from swinging it at a nurse.

“Are you sure?” A small timid nurse squeaked, the large needle in her grip tightly, almost threatening Richie.

“Yes!” Ben spoke up, trying to assure the four worried nurses. “It’s just a personal problem between the two, it’s fine! We have this under control!”

The nurses all glance to each other, “If anything gets out of hand please just shout for us.” They didn’t seem convinced by Ben or Mike’s comforting words.

Ben nodded timidly, softly thanking each nurse whilst holding back a very terrifying Richie.

It was then, Mike managed to pick Richie up and throw him over his shoulder whilst being careful- after all, Richie was still fragile from being in a car wreck. Ben panted, a vein popping out of his forehead; a mixture of anger and sadness overwhelming him. A shaken sigh left his lips, as he trotted after Mike.

“Mike get the fuck off! Let me go!” RIchie started to bash his fists into Mikes back, despite still feeling weak and having broken fingers.

Mike grumbled under his breath, still carrying Richie off down the hall to his room. The room 227 neared in Mikes view, the boy barely struggling to carry the livid one that proceeded to try and escape his clutch. Especially since Mike was rather strong, carrying Richie was like carrying an empty box. Not to mention Richie was quite thin.

“No can do, Tozier.” Mike hummed out, pacing down the hall. “Ben, open that door for me?”

“Yeah yeah.” Ben muttered, opening the hospital door open wide, so that Mike could slide in with another human on his shoulder. 

Ben closed the door after Mike rushed inside, placing RIchie down on his bed carefully. Just as Richie was about to get back up in anger, his shoulders were held by Mike.

“C’mon man- leave it.” Mike begged lightly, a pleading tone etched into his voice.

Ben stayed silent in the corner of the room, merely pressing himself up against the wall with his arms folded over his chest.

Richie huffed, flopping his head back onto his pillow despite the pain that he felt. 

“He’s a dick.”

“He might be but that doesn’t mean you have to be one as well, just leave it.” Mike tried to persuade the curly haired boy. “We all know that he.. he was a dick for hitting Bev but he didn’t mean it!”

“I don’t give a shit, Mike!” Richie hissed, his eyes glaring over towards Ben. “What? You got your panties in a twist?”

Ben looked up, saying nothing but raising one of his furrowed eyebrows.

“You gonna just let him do that to Bev, huh? You’re gonna let B-B-B-Bill touch her like that? I mean, if you love her you wouldn’t let that happen, right?” Richie taunted, “You should just be as mad as me, Ben.”

Ben’s face scrunched up, he too was mad at Bill for even touching the girl he loved in such a way. For as long as Ben could remember, he had loved Beverly and saw her nothing more than an angel and thought she should be treated like one. Of course, like everyone else in the group, suspicions of Beverly being abused at home lingered around; it disgusted Ben, how could someone hurt a girl so beautiful and benevolent?

However, Bev never saw Ben the way she would see Bill- perhaps it was his weight or even his personality- he’d never know. But no matter what, his feelings for her would never fade despite how hard he tried to move on.

Ben stared at Richie, exasperating a sigh before picking himself up and off the wall as Richie’s words sunk into Ben’s brain. With no other words exchanged between the two, Ben left the room in a hurry.

Richie’s frown deepened, lines creasing in his forehead before turning to Mike and staring at his long lost friend. Mike stared back with much softer eyes, almost giving Richie sympathy to him.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Richie looked elsewhere, grumbling. “I’m not a fucking charity case... I don’t want your sympathy.”

“I know.” Mike breathed, staring at Richie. “I just wished that we didn’t have to re-connect on these circumstances.”

Richie remained silent, staring at the white wall full of posters on different diseases and each cure to one.

“It’s not been the same since you left us.” Mike spoke up again, his head tilted to the right.

“Sure.” Richie muttered, his tone of voice lathered in sarcasm. “You all seemed to be pretty fucking ecstatic without me.”

“Eddie wasn’t-” Mike brought up, watching how Richie’s eyes softened right away. “A part of him left when you did.”

“A part of me has left now that he’s...”

“Hey, he’s not dead Richie. Don’t say stuff like that.” Mike comforted, landing a hand on Richie’s shoulder, giving a rub.

“Everyone’s making out as if I killed him, why?” 

Mike could hear how broken Richie’s voice came across, how his words were soft now that he was talking about Eddie and not how Bill had harmed Beverly. It was obvious to even those who were blind that Richie cared more about Eddie than himself. 

It was unfortunate that the both of them were damaged in such a terrible way.

“I’m not.” Mike sighed out, “It’s because you were behind the wheel, Richie. That’s it.”

“No it’s not- it’s because im Richard Tozier and I fuck everything up.” Richie chuckled dryly. “Who else is to blame? No one, Eddie sure as hell didn’t kill himself. Just blame the suicidal boy who was selfish enough to accidentally swerve himself off a cliff with the boy he loved inside of it.”

Mike frowned, rubbing Richie’s shoulder for comfort.

“I’m not blaming you, you panicked; did what you thought was right and ran away from the cops.”

Richie then stayed quiet, his lips pursed together despite the stinging sensation that occurred in pulses upon his lip.

Mike sighed sadly, ruffling up Richie’s hair before standing up. “I’ll see you later, Richie.”

Richie then abruptly snapped his head towards Mike. “What room is Eddie in?”

Mike’s eyes widened, quickly feeling conflicted and not sure if he was willing to spill that information as he and everyone else had agreed to keep it a secret and well secure from Richie. It was now Mike’s turn to say nothing, as he lifted his feet and body away and towards the door. 

Mike’s fingertips were secured around the door handle, pulling the wooden door open but was cut off from leaving by a single plead.

“Please, Mike.”

Mike glanced over his shoulder at Richie, watching how desperate his face had turned. He was on the verge of tears and Mike knew it. A shattered sigh wavered from Mike’s lips, his conflicting thoughts fighting with what flew out of his mouth.

“Room 219.”

With that, Mike Hanlon left Richie Tozier to his thoughts.

~~~

A few hours passed and Richie waited for the drama to die down and for the hospital to become quiet and empty of life, as it always was at this time of night. It was way past midnight and nearing 3am.

Richie had memorised Eddie’s room number all night over and over again until he couldn’t forget it even if he tried.

His bare feet now trotted down the marble tiles, looking at each given room number that was stamped onto the wooden doors. He craved to see Eddie, despite on how much it’d break him.

Richie wasn’t even sure if he was ready to see what was about to be revealed. Would it be not as bad as he thought or even worse? Dread twisted at Richie’s intestines and pricked at his goosebumps, making nausea swirl with each step he tiptoed with.

A few nurses glanced at Richie in pure curiosity as to why he was awake at such an hour, but allowed him to wander the halls nevertheless. Richie didn’t take his eye anywhere else apart from each towering door, he was too scared to even miss Eddie’s room.

That’s when the dark bolded numbers ‘219′ stood out to Richie’s single eye; he felt the anxiety evaporate elsewhere as it was quickly replaced with relief. Richie pushed the door open, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had saw him slide into the room without permission- before closing the door behind him.

Richie faced the door, his heart pounding in his chest with uneven breaths shaking Richie with fear for what he was about to face.

Richie’s heels turned and faced the bed, only to see the form of Eddie Kaspbrak laid unconscious with sickly pale skin. But what shook Richie the most was Eddie’s right sleeve of his shirt and how hollow it was, with the fabric flat signalling that nothing was there, whilst in his other sleeve it showed his small limp fingers poking out. 

“E-Eds..” Richie choked out, his bruised hand lifting up to his lips and covering his gawping expression. 

His single eye revealed many tears that openly spilled across each stitch and scar. 

Bill was right- he really had fucked up Eddie’s life even if he did come out of the coma fine. 

Eddie had no fucking arm.

Richie choked out an almost strangled cry, his sobs coming in gags as his feet dragged him towards Eddie’s bed that cradled his fragile form. Richie stared down at how lifeless his boyfriend appeared to the naked eye, all of Eddie’s happiness and his nature was stripped down. 

Richie wanted to scream in anger, he wanted to replace himself with Eddie and put himself through the pain and destruction that Eddie was in.

He really did break everything he touched.

“E-eds, fuck.. Fuck!” 

Richie tried to form words, only for them to slur into the sobs that left his shallow form. Richie collapsed onto one of the seats next to Eddie’s bed. Richie slumped on the left hand side of Eddie. Richie intertwines his undamaged hand into Eddie’s only hand, grasping it tightly to partly support himself and the small boy.

Richie leant over the boy, his head hung low with his hair covering his face with the shame slithering through his system whilst he stared at the imprinted bruises that stained Eddie’s skin. Only this time these bruises weren’t made out of love.

It felt like hours for how long Richie stayed with Eddie, sobbing openly without feeling restraint from his emotions.

His hand tightened around Eddie’s, holding him as if he were too scared to let go of his lover, scared for him to slip away into oblivion. Then it had occured to Richie that Eddie could possibly hear him, despite his body being shut down. Richie sniffled dramatically, his broken nose aching from such violent actions but he chose to ignore it.

“H..hey Eds, fuck- I’m so fucking sorry.” Richie whispered, running his fingers over Eddie’s bare knuckles. “I-..I’ve ruined your fucking life, haven’t I? Fuck, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I’d give you my own arm if I could.”

RIchie prevented from any other sobs to cut him off as best as he could.

“Y-you look as if you’re sleeping, you know? You’re gorgeous Eds..” Richie trailed off, staring at Eddie’s perfect skin. “When you wake up y-you can tell me to get out of your life if you want but... If you somehow s-still love me then maybe I could help you out, since you only have one arm.”

Eddie didn’t respond.

“I love you, so much Eds- you saved me, you know? Only you d-did that, I would’ve jumped if it weren’t for you. But... maybe if I jumped you’d be alive- I dunno.”

Eddie’s form still remained stiff, as if he was some doll.

“New York is still a dream of ours, right? When we’re older we can uh.. uh live there, have our own little family and we can do whatever you want! Does a small little apartment sound good? Or is the city not for you?”

It was almost as if Richie was expecting Eddie to wake up and have a conversation with him, but it somehow comforted the one eyed boy that he could talk to Eddie like this.

Richie hummed a sniffle, before speaking up again. “H-hey Eds? I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry for fucking breaking you, I..I know I’m getting annoying and repetitive but shit- I love you! I fucking a-adore you and your shitty fanny packs and your weird habits of knowing every disease and its causes. You complete me, you make me want to live! W-without you.. I.. I dunno.”

Richie paused for a solid minute, before feeling himself clear his throat at an idea.

“You and that fuckin’ song.. would it make you happier if I played-” Richie then realised halfway through his sentence that Richie couldn’t actually play that song by the Beatles, “if I sang it to you?” 

Richie corrected himself, only to receive Eddie’s silence. He took it as a yes.

“W-well okay, but I sound like shit- you better appreciate it.”

Eddie still remained in a corpse-like state; Richie’s eyes trailing over his damaged form. 

He didn’t even want to know what else was up with Eddie other than the fact that he was in a coma whilst being armless.

Richie then proceeded to sing; he forced his voice to croak out each lyric that belonged to that song that Eddie was hopelessly in love with. Richie couldn’t help but interpret a new meaning to the song for both of the boys.

Hey Jude had been a song that represented love, a melody of hope even. But now, it only crumbled Richie further due to the shattered situation. This song now meant everything to Richie as it was Eddie’s song. Eddie worshiped this song like no one else ever could, Eddie adored every word and the harmony that it served to him- it amazed Richie as to how much happiness a single song brought to someone.

Each word that spilled out of Richie’s mouth was full of passion despite how broken and off-key the boy was but he didn’t care as long as he somehow managed to get through Eddie in his sleep-like state.

Richie thought as he sang, the memory of Eddie stood up in the back of his truck with both of his hands in the air and the wind swaying the melody out into the cruel world; he was so happy. 

Richie longed to live in that moment forever, with their wasted youth combining into a blissful memory that Richie would never forget for as long as he lived. He wanted to see that smile of Eddie’s again, how he chanted every word without any hesitation to getting the words mixed up, his neat brown hair flowing and intertwining with the oxygen around him.

it was one of those memories that felt like a dream, as if it were too unreal to be true. Richie wished it was a dream because he’d never want to wake up from it.

Richie’s voice cracked, the sound of the heart monitor fading under his voice. He was unable to keep his tone in key, as his strength wavered with each crack signalling a jolt of pain that Richie felt mentally. 

Every word was a plead for Eddie to wake up like the accident never happened and for Eddie to forgive Richie right then and there on the spot and the two of them could grow old together in New York.

Oh but how life was much more cruel than that.

Richie’s voice trailed away as tears fell down into his gaped mouth, watching how Eddie laid there like a new china doll without any cracks on the outside but so many that were on the inside. Richie’s eyebrow furrowed as a broken wail left Richie, the taller boy trembling as his head collapsed against Eddie’s stomach.

With one of his hands in Eddie’s, the other located itself over Eddie’s stomach as well as his head. It didn’t take long for the fabric of Eddie’s shirt to be stained a darker colour due to the moist salted liquid from Richie’s tears. 

Richie’s hand grasped at the fabric, tugging on it slightly. 

“Please- fuck.. Please.”

His begs fell upon deaf ears, each plead becoming less powerful than the next.

Richie could barely focus on anything else apart from Eddie as his worries swarmed and beat his emotions down into a jittered state like never before. Richie had never been this broken, even when he was alone.

As Richie continued to cry and wail, his hand only tightened in Eddie’s for comfort whilst Eddie’s pliable bones remained in the same position. 

Richie didn’t notice how the snow seemed to snow harder down upon Eddie’s window in the hospital room.

Richie didn’t notice how his tears had completely soaked through Eddie’s shirt and started to trail in beads down his skin.

Richie also didn’t notice the small twitch that Eddie’s remaining pinkie finger gave in response to Richie.


	12. { The Aftermath }

A month had passed since the tragedy. 

A month without any news of Eddie’s awakening. 

A month without a single visit from someone other than Beverly.

A month without happiness

A month without love.

A month without Eddie.

It was now time for Richie to finally leave his cage as he was now ‘better’ physically; the doctors chose to ignore his mental state of course- they just wanted him out as soon as possible so that someone else could take his room. Beverly seemed to be the only person for Richie, as she always was. 

Beverly was bent forward, helping round up Richie’s items and ‘gifts’ that she had brought to him over the month that he had been resting- all of which were being cramped into the duffel bag that was now starting to overflow with some of Richie’s garments. Richie could only watch with amusement as Beverly attempted to shove each item inside.

“Do you need any help?”

“No, no.” Beverly lifted a hand to silence Richie, pressing her thumb against her fingertips. “It’s almost done!”

Richie further arched his eyebrow as it was far from done, the girl was struggling and was practically sitting upon it in order for it to shut.

“Bev seriously-”

“Richie you have two broken fingers, just sit down and be a good child!”

“Sorry Mom.” Richie mused, smirking and plotting himself on his made bed.

Beverly rolled her eyes, now actually sitting on top of the duffel bag with the zipper between her legs so that she could get a good view. She squashed down what was inside and grunted as she attempted to pull the zipper shut. Her ginger curls flopped over her forehead and tickled her wispy eyelashes despite how much she squinted, those green orbs flickering with frustration.

She then bounced, which resulted in her found success- the zipper slid across and fastened the bounds together. 

“Tah-dah!” She spoke with enthusiasm, bouncing off the strange duffel bag, “If only you had a normal bag, this would’ve been easier.”

“If only you never brought me so much stuff,” Richie chuckled dryly, shrugging his shoulders merely.

It was now Beverly’s turn to raise an eyebrow cheekily, eyeing the goggle eyed boy- admiring how dorky he truly looked. She then allowed both of her eyes to roll just like her hips- to which they rolled away from the bag; feeling the ground come into contact with her feet.

“Right.” Beverly dragged the conversation elsewhere, her tongue allowing the words to flow, “Ben’s coming to pick us up, we’ll drop you off... alright?”

Richie sighed in an over exaggerated manner, tilting his head back and allowing Beverly to see his spider leg lashes blink repeatedly, his other eye was covered- though this time it was by Richie’s choice that it was covered.

Truth being, Richie had found out what had happened to his eye. Turns out that a shard of glass had slipped under his lenses and slashed his pupil open.

After he was educated upon what had happened, the news of that what laid under that patch was in fact a corneal laceration had shocked him. This had affected his sight massively. Doctor’s were unable to tell if the boy’s eye would recover or not- but it sure did give Richie a fright when he first saw his eye is such a gruesome condition.

“Off at home?”

“Richie, look, you know I’d take you in if I could, but I can’t.” Beverly softly spoke, walking closer to the tall boy and placing a palm on his arm. “I wish I could.”

“I know.” Richie huffed, “I just feel as if I have no home, I’m 18 in... a few months actually.”

Richie thought about his birthday, how this year of him being 17 had been evaporated into the dusk; he didn’t feel like he was almost 18.

“Exactly, so you can buy a place and run away, right?”

“I tried to run away Bev, look how well that turned out.”

Beverly flinched visibly, also noting how Richie’s tone was slightly harsher at the sensitive subject that was brought up from the shadows. Her bottom lip quickly found itself between her set of teeth as guilt harvested itself deep beneath her ribs.

“Richie-”

“I know what you meant, I’m sorry.” Richie huffed a bit, picking up his own duffel bag- causing Beverly to have her eyes widen.

“Oh no fucking way!” Beverly snatched it away, “You can barely hold anything with those fingers, not to mention you need to be careful with your stitches.”

“Bev, I’m not a fucking toddler.” Richie groaned, his head being tilted back again- revealing his exposed adams apple.

“Are you sure about that?”

Richie was about to answer, but was cut off by one of Beverly’s smooth fingertips closing his mouth, her fingerprint being stamped onto his chapped lips.

“Don’t answer that and just walk, we shouldn’t keep Ben waiting.”

With that, the girl threw the strap over her shoulder and walked out of Richie’s designated room; expecting Richie to follow, to which he did.

Richie then crinkled his eyebrows in a thin line, suddenly realising a key word or name in this instance.

“Ben?”

“Yes, Ben. Why? Is that a problem, too?”

Richie smirked a bit, his feet carrying him alongside Beverly now.

“What about you and Bill?” Richie teased, winking at the girl even though she wasn’t looking.

Beverly’s face turned bright like a traffic light, her lips parting for a split second before thinning out, “Excuse me? Can a girl not be friends with a boy whilst having a boyfriend? That’s very hypocritical, Richie.”

“Of course a girl can, but you Beverly Marsh have googley eyes for him. I can practically see a wet patch spreading over your-”

“Beep beep Richie!” Beverly gasped in shame, her eyes wide as she resisted the urge to slap her best friend, “I do not have googley eyes for him, I’m in a relationship and I don’t cheat!”

“I wouldn’t give a shit if you did, I wouldn’t blame you. Denbrough is a dick.”

“That’s not true, he made a mistake-”

“A mistake like that can turn into a routine.” Richie warned, hate clearly rotting between his lips, “Ben is a better guy.”

“Shut up.” Beverly muttered, not denying or agreeing with the harsh statements that Richie had announced.

Richie smirked, his feet pattering against the marble floor that was placed along the hallway. Each wall seemed to cave in yet again as Richie felt himself retrace his steps. How he pondered down the hallway to go see Eddie for the first time since the accident occurred, how dread formed itself into a tight knot and pulled down at his intestines.

Richie felt his smirk fall from his lips.

How Eddie’s heart beat barely came through upon the heart monitor, oh how did it scare Richie. Something about his body laying there was oddly peaceful to Richie, as if he were sleeping. Except he wasn’t. He had no arm and practically no life left back in him. 

Even after Richie had spoke and cried with him, even after singing to him, something made Richie believe that somewhere deep down that Eddie could hear him. If that was true or not, Richie would never know until Eddie woke up.

If he woke up.

Richie flinched, remembering how after 45 minutes he felt himself be torn away from his other half- how the Doctor’s were worried with his presence around the unconscious teenager. How that fucking drug shut Richie into his own peaceful dream-like state once again.

According to the Doctor’s, he was a threat to Eddie and his family; many complaints were filed from the Kaspbrak’s towards Richie being around Eddie. So Richie found out that he wasn’t allowed near him through the hard way.

Richie watched himself stroll past room 219 with agony piercing his heart through and through, stitching itself into his emotions.

He knew that his lover laid in there, hopeless and in a dead state with no one to keep him truly happy. Not how he could make him happy anyway. He felt his own party of pity creep up through his goosebumps and danced through his sorrow.

“Richie, stop that.”

Richie snapped back into his own reality, glancing down at Beverly with his one eye only to find her with a worrying charm in her own eyes.

“Come on, lets go.” She whispered, wrapping a single arm around Richie’s waist carefully.

Richie nodded shakily, allowing the comforting touch as they both walked in sync. The duo started to near the end of the hallway and with one last quivering sigh, Richie looked over his shoulder and stared out towards the faded figures of Eddie’s door.

“That dumbass better wake up.”

“I know.” Beverly gave Richie’s waist a comforting yes soft squeeze, “C’mon.”

Richie nodded, holding his stare before turning forward once again and walking down the flight of stairs towards the bottom.

Oh what would Richie Tozier do just to take Eddie’s position for him.

~~~

The two waited outside the hospital for 5 minutes, with Beverly craving a cigarette to suck on; she didn’t want to awaken Richie’s old habits however, especially with his current state.

So instead she sucked up the will power to not smoke.

Her eyes darted between the different variations of cars that pulled up to let loved ones jump in for a ride or to drop others off, until her eyes finalised upon Ben’s car.

“Here he is! C’mon.” Beverly gave Richie’s sleeve a soft tug, before walking over.

Richie’s eyes looked up from his shoes, only to see Beverly near a very specific all black Bentley Eight car with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. Ben sat in the drivers seat, pulling down his window to make small talk with the perky girl.

Richie went to walk forward, but felt himself physically and mentally unable to near the vehicle. A silent strangled cry surpassed his lips, a pool of salt surfacing upon his naked eye and poking down his cheek, darting over some stitches.

His mind took him elsewhere, quickly finding himself back in the same situation from a month ago, the clocks physically turning back in his mindset. 

He saw his own truck spiral out of control from a 3rd person perspective, watching how Eddie’s arm yet again crunched and disorganised itself beyond repair- to which would future scar him for eternity. How his head smashed against the dashboard with blood slipping out from his mouth and trickling from his nose and tattooing the leather before him.

Richie’s broken digits lifted and covered his mouth to control the hoarse whispering wheezes that echoed out loud as he watched his lover be ripped away.

And it was all because of him.

Richie felt his knees buck, his patch being damp through as well as his cheeks glistening like stars reflecting in a lake. Even when Beverly had rushed over panic and firmly grabbed at his shoulders to shake him awake from his terror, he couldn’t help but capture Eddie’s face.

He watched when the all red truck collapsed limply to the snow below and how his own unconscious body slapped itself against Eddie’s fragile state, further crushing each individual bone from Eddie’s arm that was trapped under both of their bodies; how he just used Eddie as if he was nothing but a mattress knocked him sick to the core.

Beverly’s concerned cries fell faint, with Richie finally turning his head to look at his sisterly figure shake him from his paralysed state- the hallucination now transforming.

“Richie!” He read Beverly’s lips, “What’s wrong?”

Richie’s eyes blinked, now settling upon a concerned Ben in the car- however he looked much different to Richie than what he had done to Beverly. Ben had a large gash in his forehead, his arm sticking out of his car and holding the metal on the outside- only to see each bone poking at his skin and threatening to pierce through as if they were sharp splinters. Blood too leaked out from a single eye of Ben’s and seeped down into his grey shirt and stained it thoroughly.

Richie gagged, feeling a metallic after taste numb his tastebuds.

“No!” Richie croaked, pushing Beverly away in a panic.

Beverly stumbled back, shock in her eyes with her hands going to reach out to Richie again, only for him to completely flinch away and crawl away. Now she wasn’t shocked because he had hurt her feelings, she was shocked at his reaction to simply seeing a car for the first time since the accident.

The boy was scarred.

“Rich, you need to-”

“No!” He pleaded, “Please, please Bev- don’t make me get in.”

Beverly felt her heart swell, her mouth gaping with a protective ache seeing her best friend in such a way that she hadn’t ever seen. 

Richie’s breaths were ragged, wheezing as if he himself were having an asthma attack; his hair starting to stick to his skin with pimples of sweat dripping in droplets and splats. Everything felt numb to him apart from the repetitive agony that swept his emotions towards that hurricane of destruction that managed to somehow make him worse and worse.

And for once, despite managing to gain a motherly instinct for others and naturally being able to calm others down in time of need- Beverly Marsh didn’t know how to calm the storm that had struck Richie Tozier.

~~~

It’s been over month since the first panic attack, the simple panic attack that revealed Richie’s one true fear that had erased the clown fear completely.

Cars.

Ever since that first experience with seeing Ben’s car parked peacefully up against the curb Richie can barely even make eye contact with a single car with his nerves unable to be under his own control. Beverly had tried to tell him that he probably had some kind of whatever-fucking-phobia, Mike had told her the specific name as he had researched it in one of his own books and passed on the message, but Richie could care less to bother to remember.

He barely left his own house, too scared to have another breakdown in public like he once did. Instead he found himself suffering with his own nightmares and something called sleep paralysis.

His dreams involved cars yes, but his sleep paralysis involved strange noises and hallucinations such as seeing Eddie and hearing the sound of doors slamming, with something dragging across the wooden floor.

He hated it.

Richie sighed shakily, lifting the cancer stick to his lips and inhaled the toxic waste that rested against his lungs and decayed inside of his shell before allowing the trapped smoke to be released like a songbird from its cage and allowed it to tint the air around him grey.

His old habits were starting to peak through ever since Beverly informed Richie that Eddie was practically pronounced dead as the two month anniversary passed. Doctor’s claimed theories of him not waking up, but apparently Mrs. Kaspbrak paid cash in order for them to not pull the plug on Eddie.

Richie reeked of sweat that saturated the air around him, his armpits now to the point of actually feeling moist from liquid building up under his armpit hairs. He didn’t even care about his hygiene anymore or his well being in general.

Neither did his parents.

When he had somehow made it back from the hospital sometime last January, his parents hadn’t even bothered to mention the holidays to him. They had forgot that he wasn’t there for Christmas or New Years. The only reason his Mother wasn’t drunk was because she was too busy paying her liquor money for his medical bills.

The first words his Father spoke to him were: “Oh, finally we can stop paying these fucking bills.”

It was if his life wasn’t worth every penny that they possessed like it would to other parents with their own children.

Even though Mrs. Kaspbrak was an insane bitch that Richie despised with every fibre in his body, he couldn’t help but feel an odd sensation after knowing that Mrs. Kaspbrak fought with all of her money to keep her son alive because Richie knew that his parents wouldn’t have done the same thing that she was doing for her son.

He was eternally grateful that she was keeping him alive besides everything that she had done to him, though.

Richie’s buttocks was sunk deep into his couch, of course he was home alone once again. He was left with nothing but the TV that stared at him and his own haunted thoughts.

He ignored the grumbles and groans that came in soft whispers from his stomach region, his hands firmly intertwined with one another carefully. The TV was of course playing the news, nothing interesting was happening. It was just an average day, January 13th 1994 to be exact. Nothing interesting at all.

Richie watched the news reporter with particularly huge breasts tell the weather forecast for the upcoming days of a certain portion of America. Richie fixated his eyes on her breasts, his thoughts contrasted between calling her a slut for wearing such a skimpy dress to present the weather and thanking her for wearing that dress at the same time.

Richie groaned aloud when the screen changed to a different report, already mourning over the blonde woman leaving his sight. Oh how he craved to feel something other than just lust for strangers again.

Minutes passed as he mindlessly watched the news without any sympathy for someone reporting how a random misfit had so freaked out at her school and had caused a strange uproar that had shocked those in the small town and throughout the country after hearing the story.

“Now over to you, Mason.”

The screen flashed, changing back to the main studio where a middle-aged man with dark black thorns and beady eyes stared into the camera.

“Thankyou Sandra, now today actually has actually shed some light upon us despite such a tragedy occurring in a different city; the teenage boy Edward Kaspbrak from the small town Derry has officially been discharged from Derry Queen Hospital and is now resting safely at home and recovering from his long coma. If you all remember from our last few stories that we covered, Edward Kaspbrak and his friend had been found by authorities...”

Richie had tuned out whatever the reporter was recapping to the audience from all across America and instead focused upon the fact that Eddie was no longer in a coma, he was no longer in a coma for that long that he was actually allowed to go home.

How had he not known?

Why hadn’t no one told him?

“I can’t fuckin’ believe this shit...” Richie whispered to himself, quickly pushing the cigarette towards his jeans and stumping it out against the denim; completely ignoring how his jeans had a small indent from where the ash had disintegrated the fabric.

The cigarette dropped to the floor as Richie rushed to his feet, not caring to thrash some shoes upon his bare feet or fix his attire in any way.

He needed to see Eddie now.

He then marched towards the front door, retreating it open only for him to have the first breath of fresh air swoon him; his lungs thanking him. 

With his two bare feet rushing across the untamed grass, he opened up the garage door quickly and curled himself through the obstacles in the way to find his way of transportation. It was then he lifted up his all silver and slightly rustic bike; to which he carried out and onto the path way.

Richie hadn’t rode his bike in 4 years or so, the last time he did he was still friends with everyone and he was still fresh in his youth. With time ticking, he didn’t have a moment to waste on pondering over nostalgia.

He jumped on the petite bike, pushing one foot against the floor as his bare feet peddled down the road with stern eyes and his blood rushing all around his body with the adrenaline kicking into his veins with the excitement helping the blood flow.

Even though his legs were far too long to ride the bike properly as well as on lookers staring in pure confusion- nothing else was on Richie’s mind other than Eddie Kaspbrak being alive and safe.

~~~

Richie finally kicked himself off the pathetic bike, letting it tumble to the concrete as Richie ran up to the Kaspbrak household- clinging onto the tree and despite the agony that seeped through his two broken fingers, he pulled himself up with all of the strength his weak state could muster.

He reached up for a thicker branch, kicking his bare feet against the tree trunk and somehow managing to get himself up to eye level with Eddie’s room, managing to see inside of it.

He could see those pale walls and the outline or his door and the unopened pill bottles that were settled upon his chest of drawers. Richie finally felt relief surface his emotions as it was true- Eddie was alive.

Richie then peeked against the window, hands up against the glass and all- he saw Eddie sat in the corner of his room on one of his chairs, a book in his lap and drool dripping out from his lop sided mouth.

He was safe and sound, asleep.

Richie couldn’t help but note how his clothes that he was wearing had been stitched where his right arm would usually be laid, probably by Sonia herself- but other than that, Eddie was still Eddie.

Richie then opened up the window after noticing it was unlocked. Richie felt the luck in the air, smiling for the first time in a full month as he climbed inside as silent as possible- which wasn’t silent at all with how clumsy Richie naturally is.

His bare feet almost slid him across the room due to the wooden floor being freshly mopped- but he held himself upright with Eddie’s bookshelf.

However, the silence didn’t last for long. After leaning on the bookshelf for support in order to stand upright, several of Eddie’s books slid off the wooden platform and fainted to the floor- quickly alerting the soft boy that was sat in the corner all by his lonesome self, his eyes going wide in shock.

Richie looked up after hearing an abrupt gasp, seeing two bambi eyes stare at him as if they were stunned. Richie stared back, a smile growing onto his lips.

“Eds-”

“Get out!” Eddie screeched, his face turning red as it always would during times when he was overwhelmed or having an ‘asthma’ attack.

A vein was popped onto his forehead, showing distress and discomfort which only caused Richie to feel confused. 

Was Eddie mad at him for what happened?

“Eds-” Richie tried to repeat, but was cut off by a loud wheeze.

“Get! O..out!” The boy clutched his chest with his only hand, squeezing at his pastel blue polo.

Richie’s eyes widened, quickly rushing over to where his spare inhaler would usually be kept. Despite almost slipping over in the process, Richie somehow managed to keep upright and dug through Eddie’s underwear drawer.

“You.. f-fucking creep!” Eddie wheezed, panting for air, “G..get out!”

Richie tried to ignore his words as he eventually found a matching blue inhaler, before sliding back over to where Eddie was resting. Eddie visibly tried to sink into the chair helplessly in attempt to get away from Richie for some odd reason. He then tried to hand over the inhaler, only for it to be slapped out of his grasp and it was scattered across the floor and under Eddie’s bed.

“Eddie, what the fuck? You need th-”

“How the fuck do you know m-my fucking name?” Eddie shrieked, terror being vivid as Richie watched how his words overflowed.

Richie paused, his smile becoming more nervous but widening.

“Oh come on Eds, is this how you’re gonna treat me-”

Richie was abruptly cut off; the next few words to come out of his lovers mouth quickly changed his life in just a matter of seconds.

“Don’t call me ‘Eds’! Who the fuck are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the end!! What do you all think? I do plan on a sequel sO


End file.
